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I Am Worried

I'm worried about my second oldest child, Justin. He is 16, and the only T.V. channels he watches is Nickelodeon, Disney, and Cartoon Network.

On the weekends I let my kids go to there friends house and he is always home every weekend. He has said things like "I don't need friends." and "girlfriends are a distraction."

He is extramly good at algebra but can't tell the difference between a verb and adjective.

He is obsessed with this T.V. show called Degrassi. Last year I bought him a 32 gb iPod 6 and he just bought himself a new iPod 6 16 gb. So he could download every episode of Degrassi on his 32. I don't know how many times he has rewatched the show but he's been watching it everyday for 7 months. He talks about the story lines characters all the time.

He acts like a 12 year old, when we go to the store he wants me to buy him toys and he does play with them.

His since of style is very different from anyone I know his age. He will not wear jeans, he says they feel uncomfortable and tight even when I show him baggy ones. He will only wear sweat pants, basketball shorts, and on occasions he will wear baggy cargo shorts. He doesn't care what he looks like going out he'll come home from school his hair not brushed and wearing the same sweat pants for a few days at a time.

His iPod and laptop are his bestfriends, he also likes to play older game systems I think he has like 7 different ones. He's very weird about people touching his stuff. He'll freak out. One time I took away his iPod and he had a panic attack. He couldn't break, I had to give it back to make it stop. I'm super worried about my son I don't know what to do.
percyisadad · 41-45, M
Now I'm no qualified expert to say anything on the matter but you seem concerned so I'll throw in my two cents. When I was his age I was being tried as an adult for I crime I unfortunately did commit. I was kind of similar in a lot of ways to your son. I still played with toys and didn't go out that often. But as much as my story sounds like it turned out badly, I haven't gotten to the end. Out of prison I was selected to go into a program with the military. I studied and worked hard and was hired by a company to be their chief of security. I now have a family of my own and (I would say) am fairly successful. Now what I'm trying to say is that sometimes kids need to find their own way through life. Not everyone wants to follow the linear pattern that our lives are "supposed" to follow. Perhaps you son just needs some time to get things together or maybe he's just not ready to grow up just yet. I would say give him your support and love and he will be just fine. Teenagers are often very confused by what's going on in their lives and sometimes they just need the time to process what's going on. One of the major ways they do that is by regression which is the process of one acting younger than they really are. Perhaps that's all your son is doing, acting younger and not caring about what he's expected to care about because he's not ready just yet. I'd say give him some time and love and he'll be just fine. Hope this helps at least a little bit
Jessa29 · 36-40, FMod
@MomInHer30s Honestly and now I'm not a doctor but it sounds like a degree of Autism. Have you talked to his Dr. about this yet?
Glitter22 · 31-35, F
I agree with Jessa, those are strong signs of asperger. You should take him to a thrapist.
Jessa29 · 36-40, FMod
@Violet22 My cousin has Autism that is how I know. Plus I studied it when I was in my classes for my Early Childhood Development degree.
MomInHer30s · 41-45, F
Reading that link did help it does sound like aspergers. Do I call his doctor or try to get him a therapist. Money isn't an issue.
Squizz5 · 51-55, M
Sounds like you need professional advice, he might just be maturing slower, does he go out much at all?
Master1A · 70-79, M
I completely agree with Jessa29. you should at the very least have him tested. there are different levels of illnesses. I have a child in the close family that has the same symptoms you describe and he was diagnosed as mildly autistic. He is high functioning but doesn't understand the subtleties of social interaction and can't read peoples faces or the inflections in their voices.. Very good at math , sucks at social studies.. Master1A
I was quite the oddball myself when i was growing (i say as thoe I've really changed all that much). But i wouldn't worry too much about it. So long as he's not going to be extremely rude nor destructive about things. Help encourage him to get out and meet some people, but don't worry too much about it.
SW-User
Just my opinion ...if that's how he is and he's happy and not hurting anyone or himself then I'd not look too deep into it . I think sometimes kids are over diagnosed or wrongly diagnosed ...I dunno ...I'm not a doctor ...just my opinion ...good luck !
becca00f · 22-25, F
I agree with jessa29. this is not a simple thing that you can take care of. he needs to be evaluated by a trained doctor. Its not anything you have done but you can help him get better by getting him seen.
Jessa29 · 36-40, FMod
@MomInHer30's My recommendation is to start with his Dr. then go from there. If you EVER need to talk please feel free to message me anytime (I'm always around).
SW-User
I could be just a stage he is struggling through/children don't act the same
I'd just stand back and keep an eye on him
SW-User
Sounds like he needs to mature a bit ...maybe talking to a professional would help you better then anyone on here ever could with this
Jessa29 · 36-40, FMod
@MomInHer30's Here is a great resource.... https://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/asperger-syndrome
Jessa29 · 36-40, FMod
@MomInHer30's here are the signs of Autism.... https://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/learn-signs
MomInHer30s · 41-45, F
What is aspergers? Violet and Jessa

 
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