I Am An Absurdist
These first paragraphs are just my mindless ramblings. Dumb shit. Really just me thinking out loud about what comes next, it sounds pretty stupid, especially in this thread. Really I'd just appreciate book suggestions(see Anyways)
I've been doing my best to embrace the absurd. It's getting a little dangerous, I think. Harder to work on what I need to accomplish. I don't really want to be doing what I'm doing anymore. School every day. Homework every night. Maybe it's just the end of the semester kind of mood I've always gotten into right before summer, because I really do enjoy learning, but maybe I'm just ready to move on. 24 credit hours would push my limits even if I did care though.
I think I want to leave all this behind. I think I'd like to try and get an internship or something with an NGO in some war-torn country. Doctors Without Borders in Pakistan? Would they accept a kid with a bachelors in Economics? I'm willing to practically donate my time. 2 to 4 years of it. I may not have medical knowledge or training but I'm willing to go and be away from all this for that time. That's what I would do if I give in entirely. I'll finish school, pretend that this is the future I want, then let it all go. Go to Pakistan to help at NGO hospitals. Then maybe explore S. America. Then maybe I could come back and pretend I care again. If I give up on the reality in front of me. Free myself completely.
I would leave her behind too. Maybe she'll still be there when I come back. I think by then I could see her with a little more perspective and maybe things won't be the same, but they've already changed. They're changing now. She's really the only thing I'm not sure I want to let go of. Love is an odd concept. If she was gone, I'd be fine. But she isn't.
Anyway, now that I've gotten my rambling out, I'd appreciate some absurdist book suggestions, if anyone has some. I've always read more on the classical side, so like idk 1940s-1960s might be ideal, but I'm open to more modern pieces too.
I've been doing my best to embrace the absurd. It's getting a little dangerous, I think. Harder to work on what I need to accomplish. I don't really want to be doing what I'm doing anymore. School every day. Homework every night. Maybe it's just the end of the semester kind of mood I've always gotten into right before summer, because I really do enjoy learning, but maybe I'm just ready to move on. 24 credit hours would push my limits even if I did care though.
I think I want to leave all this behind. I think I'd like to try and get an internship or something with an NGO in some war-torn country. Doctors Without Borders in Pakistan? Would they accept a kid with a bachelors in Economics? I'm willing to practically donate my time. 2 to 4 years of it. I may not have medical knowledge or training but I'm willing to go and be away from all this for that time. That's what I would do if I give in entirely. I'll finish school, pretend that this is the future I want, then let it all go. Go to Pakistan to help at NGO hospitals. Then maybe explore S. America. Then maybe I could come back and pretend I care again. If I give up on the reality in front of me. Free myself completely.
I would leave her behind too. Maybe she'll still be there when I come back. I think by then I could see her with a little more perspective and maybe things won't be the same, but they've already changed. They're changing now. She's really the only thing I'm not sure I want to let go of. Love is an odd concept. If she was gone, I'd be fine. But she isn't.
Anyway, now that I've gotten my rambling out, I'd appreciate some absurdist book suggestions, if anyone has some. I've always read more on the classical side, so like idk 1940s-1960s might be ideal, but I'm open to more modern pieces too.
