I Forgot How To Cook

I feel like because I’ve been drugged so many times that I’m forgetting how to cook. God, please help me. I just don’t know what to do. I made a pot of rice and beans for my Patient today, I tasted it and it had NO taste, plus the rice was all clumpy. I felt so bad because I wasted up all their products. I just wanted to cry. I remember I had another patient in the past whom I used to cook really, really well for. My meats came out so-so today, says my patient and her daughter. I feel really depressed. I really am doing bad and all the domestic violence shelters are all full to capacity and I have nowhere safe to stay. I don’t want to go into a women’s shelter because I fear that I’ll face a similar predicament and all I really need is peace and calm. I almost passed out three times in my patient’s kitchen today. I feel depressed. I’m hurting. It’s a shame that I forgot how to cook. I feel like I’m good for nothing. It hurts.