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I Cook
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Hell yeah. Was a cook for a few years

Learned how to cook from some dirt bag Italian guy. He hired me as a dishwasher and quickly moved up to head cook. The bastard taught me all of his recipes and you know I whip.out the cookbook when trying to impress a lady, or just get her to touch my weiner. My specialty is italian food and stoner food which is really just bizarre food concoctions centered around grease, sugar and artificial flavor enhancers. Anyways, I love cooking especially when I light my breath on fire from the high concentration of alcohol in my body.

I'll usually burn shit or forget to turn the stove on but those things are the defining characteristics of a bobby flay or that gay englishman that yells alot. I forgot where I was going with this but yeah I cook.

 
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I Cook
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