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I Hate When People Assume Things

So since you know so much about me, why don't you proceed to tell me what my life was like growing up and what my favorite things are and write out my resume. Tell me all the details since you know so much more about me than I do. 😊
Having a moment, letting it pass, and now I'm going to chill the hell out. It doesn't have to matter and in the longrun, it won't.

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SerenitiesScars · 36-40, M

Well you always liked my penis and used to tell everyone you know, about how great it was! You also used to keep an artistic photo album of the many portraits done on my penis in different settings, styles, and lighting. I put my D pic as your resume because you know, enough said am I right? *Elbow nudge!*

SW-User

Don't be silly. The penis was a myth. 😔

SerenitiesScars · 36-40, M

D': HOW HAS THIS ELUDED ME FOR SO LONG!?

SW-User

You're inattentive! You're too busy talking about music and Pokemoning and eating food in front of other people to notice anything! D':

SerenitiesScars · 36-40, M

D': I would be if I had someone to skype with still but instead I'm just alone not noticing how my penis isn't really even there after all! D'x I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN PEEING OUT OF ALL THESE YEARS!!

SW-User

And you don't want to know! You can't handle the truth! D':<

SerenitiesScars · 36-40, M

D': Apparently not if I've been in denial all these years!! D'x You've already spoken TOO MUCH on the truth in one session! D': You have to break it to me slowly or I might go mad!!

SW-User

I hate to break it to you, but you're already mad. The whole world's gone mad. :/

SerenitiesScars · 36-40, M

:/ I blame pop rocks for no longer being an exciting thing...

SW-User

But have you tried them with soda?

SerenitiesScars · 36-40, M

:o No!

SW-User

It's not dangerous. Nobody's face ever exploded while trying to mix the two. 😁

SerenitiesScars · 36-40, M

x'D Wasn't there a whole stomach exploding urban legend about all that the myth busters took on?

SW-User

There might have been. I just remember them trying to sneeze with their eyes open and how funny that looked.

SerenitiesScars · 36-40, M

I've sneezed with my eyes open before... : o It was in a dream.. : o Makes you feel super powerful when you do something no one else can!