I Love To Understand
Everything. I would love to learn about everything. Sometimes I forget to keep my enthusiasm grounded so I come across like I already do know everything, but I'm just excited to share my thoughts about things I've thought about. I do apologize if I'm come across as impossible to argue with to any of you.
It's true that all we've ever had is observations and minds who interpret them with possible explanations. No one has access to what is really true, we only have access to the conclusions of other minds, so there is no authority when it comes to truth. All we have is evidence (raw measurements that 'seem' to support one hypothesis or another). This is a very romantic idea to me: that any mind can examine what we've observed and come to the same conclusions. As a result, I'm kinda a snob when it comes to figuring things out for myself. The internet waits at my fingertips, but reading about a brilliant theory makes me feel stupid for not concluding it by myself. I waste a lot of time trying to figuring out already solved problems, but mostly I don't know they're solved, nor do I care, I just like to think and I don't care if it's about something that will yield fruitlessness, because the journey is never fruitless.
If I ponder something new, I have achieved something great indeed; if I find that my conclusion has already formulated within someone else's mind, I gain confidence in my abilities; if I am proved wrong by our blunt reality, I am only trained to think more critically and thoroughly about future assessments.
This all working together makes me come across arrogant. It might seem on the surface that I'm too self absorbed to ever love anyone or to be loved, but I wasn't blessed to be a computing machine without feelings. In reality, my heart is as big as my curiosity, and it's really been hard for me to find a place in this world; because on one end, I love intelligent conversation, but on the other, the people who share that are normally dry and un-empathetic. And I get hurt if you just look at me wrong. I was born to love, but I was also born to be a theorist with a mad scientist haircut. I want them both. I'm not compatible with someone with just a brain, nor am I compatible with someone with just a heart. I don't want to dedicate my life to just being a thinker, I want a chance at love, even though it will take time away from what I could do in the world, I want a chance at being happy with someone. It is selfish, because I could do more if I just focused, but no matter what we say, civilization will end, and every achievement will be rung out. All that will remain will be the past. All that will really matter will be the perceptions of beings who once felt reality. Deep down, I like to think that my own happiness is valuable, too, even though I often overlook it. I have so much love to give, I always have, and my entire life I've just been looking for one place to put it. But that place is oh so rare, and I wish you would just come out from hiding from me. You're no where in sight, and I hate missing these days of your life :/
I really hope you're out there, my sweet, sensitive, curious darling. The mystery of reality is hanging on our front door, I just wish we could hurry up and open it together.
It's true that all we've ever had is observations and minds who interpret them with possible explanations. No one has access to what is really true, we only have access to the conclusions of other minds, so there is no authority when it comes to truth. All we have is evidence (raw measurements that 'seem' to support one hypothesis or another). This is a very romantic idea to me: that any mind can examine what we've observed and come to the same conclusions. As a result, I'm kinda a snob when it comes to figuring things out for myself. The internet waits at my fingertips, but reading about a brilliant theory makes me feel stupid for not concluding it by myself. I waste a lot of time trying to figuring out already solved problems, but mostly I don't know they're solved, nor do I care, I just like to think and I don't care if it's about something that will yield fruitlessness, because the journey is never fruitless.
If I ponder something new, I have achieved something great indeed; if I find that my conclusion has already formulated within someone else's mind, I gain confidence in my abilities; if I am proved wrong by our blunt reality, I am only trained to think more critically and thoroughly about future assessments.
This all working together makes me come across arrogant. It might seem on the surface that I'm too self absorbed to ever love anyone or to be loved, but I wasn't blessed to be a computing machine without feelings. In reality, my heart is as big as my curiosity, and it's really been hard for me to find a place in this world; because on one end, I love intelligent conversation, but on the other, the people who share that are normally dry and un-empathetic. And I get hurt if you just look at me wrong. I was born to love, but I was also born to be a theorist with a mad scientist haircut. I want them both. I'm not compatible with someone with just a brain, nor am I compatible with someone with just a heart. I don't want to dedicate my life to just being a thinker, I want a chance at love, even though it will take time away from what I could do in the world, I want a chance at being happy with someone. It is selfish, because I could do more if I just focused, but no matter what we say, civilization will end, and every achievement will be rung out. All that will remain will be the past. All that will really matter will be the perceptions of beings who once felt reality. Deep down, I like to think that my own happiness is valuable, too, even though I often overlook it. I have so much love to give, I always have, and my entire life I've just been looking for one place to put it. But that place is oh so rare, and I wish you would just come out from hiding from me. You're no where in sight, and I hate missing these days of your life :/
I really hope you're out there, my sweet, sensitive, curious darling. The mystery of reality is hanging on our front door, I just wish we could hurry up and open it together.
26-30, M