I Will Always Remember You, Even If You Forget Me
writing this while playing these (in order)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kItuXocJUwk
www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrEIZQlz8D0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI_alyJAG3o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWOsdwZpCsc
hey katelyn,
how have you been lately ? hows your sister and her seizures ? i hope she's doing all well now. For me i have been doing all well now, you dont need to worry about me. Im a tough a bastard, its all good. Im writing this because i know your birthday is in August, cant tell which day if its the 13th or the 17th and you have no idea how much it kills me to not be able to remember it.. you know how i always remember everything except for dates :).. most probably would be the 13th.. anyway, I just wanna say happy birthday, i truly mean it. from the bottom of my heart, i wish you a happy birthday and it eats me from the inside because i cant say that to you.. because i know I'm the last person you wanna hear from on that day.. and i dont blame you, its your important day and i respect that. you're 18 now, you have grown up already :)
I took another look at our pictures, our chats, the screenshots.. it all came back to life now.. the memories are as vivd as the sun. How you thought so highly of me, how i challenged your soul and mind everyday to just overlook all the bad shit in your life and be stronger... How to forget about your past and that not everyone is gonna hurt you.. Im sorry, I'm sorry i wasn't the guy you thought i am.. I'm sorry i failed you.. god knows I really am.. I'm sorry i hurt you. im sorry thing ended up like that.. just know that i want nothing more in this world for you than to be happy, even it was with someone else. even if it meant you would be spending your life in another man's arms.. even if it meant that it would be him who would see you smile, laugh, fart, whatever it is.. he is the luckiest bastard on earth.. he got to see an angel on earth. wingless and beautiful.. i just wish... if i cant talk to you again.. if i just hear your voice one more time.. but i know its for the better, for you. You dont deserve someone like me, you deserve only the best in life.. you deserve to be happy, you deserve to feel beautiful everyday because you are.. you are.. i promise you that you are worth it. you are worth dying for..
for me, i cant move on. i cant just move on and let go of those memories, its all that i have of you you know !! i cant move on.. those screenshot, those pictures, they hold a surge of emotions and feelings that are gonna be just left behind if i moved on.. i cant do that.. i know i look like a silly little boy who refuses to give up his toy and move on because he need to grow old.. i dont care.. I'm not gonna move on and leave you.. well whats left of you anyway, even if you moved on.. i won't.. Funny enough, my biggest motivation is you.. i still "ill do it for katelyn".. whether its studying when I'm so mentally drained, or handling my family, or just dealing with negative thoughts.. i just say to myself that katelyn doesnt want me to be like that or do that, katelyn would want me to be better than this.. Katelyn would want me be stronger than this...even when... even when you dont give two shits about me now... you're still trapped in my mind.. yeah I'm losing my sanity.. i dont care.. i never prayed that you would always be with me when we were together, i just prayed that you would be happy.. even if its over my happiness.. you are still my everything.. sigh..
Happy birthday katelyn.. god bless you, forever.
yours, eternally.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kItuXocJUwk
www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrEIZQlz8D0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI_alyJAG3o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWOsdwZpCsc
hey katelyn,
how have you been lately ? hows your sister and her seizures ? i hope she's doing all well now. For me i have been doing all well now, you dont need to worry about me. Im a tough a bastard, its all good. Im writing this because i know your birthday is in August, cant tell which day if its the 13th or the 17th and you have no idea how much it kills me to not be able to remember it.. you know how i always remember everything except for dates :).. most probably would be the 13th.. anyway, I just wanna say happy birthday, i truly mean it. from the bottom of my heart, i wish you a happy birthday and it eats me from the inside because i cant say that to you.. because i know I'm the last person you wanna hear from on that day.. and i dont blame you, its your important day and i respect that. you're 18 now, you have grown up already :)
I took another look at our pictures, our chats, the screenshots.. it all came back to life now.. the memories are as vivd as the sun. How you thought so highly of me, how i challenged your soul and mind everyday to just overlook all the bad shit in your life and be stronger... How to forget about your past and that not everyone is gonna hurt you.. Im sorry, I'm sorry i wasn't the guy you thought i am.. I'm sorry i failed you.. god knows I really am.. I'm sorry i hurt you. im sorry thing ended up like that.. just know that i want nothing more in this world for you than to be happy, even it was with someone else. even if it meant you would be spending your life in another man's arms.. even if it meant that it would be him who would see you smile, laugh, fart, whatever it is.. he is the luckiest bastard on earth.. he got to see an angel on earth. wingless and beautiful.. i just wish... if i cant talk to you again.. if i just hear your voice one more time.. but i know its for the better, for you. You dont deserve someone like me, you deserve only the best in life.. you deserve to be happy, you deserve to feel beautiful everyday because you are.. you are.. i promise you that you are worth it. you are worth dying for..
for me, i cant move on. i cant just move on and let go of those memories, its all that i have of you you know !! i cant move on.. those screenshot, those pictures, they hold a surge of emotions and feelings that are gonna be just left behind if i moved on.. i cant do that.. i know i look like a silly little boy who refuses to give up his toy and move on because he need to grow old.. i dont care.. I'm not gonna move on and leave you.. well whats left of you anyway, even if you moved on.. i won't.. Funny enough, my biggest motivation is you.. i still "ill do it for katelyn".. whether its studying when I'm so mentally drained, or handling my family, or just dealing with negative thoughts.. i just say to myself that katelyn doesnt want me to be like that or do that, katelyn would want me to be better than this.. Katelyn would want me be stronger than this...even when... even when you dont give two shits about me now... you're still trapped in my mind.. yeah I'm losing my sanity.. i dont care.. i never prayed that you would always be with me when we were together, i just prayed that you would be happy.. even if its over my happiness.. you are still my everything.. sigh..
Happy birthday katelyn.. god bless you, forever.
yours, eternally.
26-30, M