I Have Family Drama
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Is this okay or not?

I'm not looking for an argument and I don't want to debate about this, I'm just looking for yes or no and why you think so.

My sister who is a mother has a teenager who is seeing someone.

Because of the area in the house in which they reside, my sister believes she is in control of that part of the house. The owner of the house says otherwise as the sister doesn't pay rent. The sister does work a regular 80 hour paycheck every two weeks but I don't know why she just doesn't pay rent.

My sister allowed her teenager to let the person they're seeing sleep over and didn't ask the owner of the house, but the owner of the house sees it as disrespectful, because they were never asked or informed about it. To make matters worse my sister, their mother, wasn't even there to supervise.

Is it disrespectful or not, and why do you think so?
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Very disrespectful
If a person feels disrespected ... then it was disrespectful
yes, property owners can be held accountable for the (mis)uses of their property even if they're not involved not had any info or say about it.
SteelHands · 61-69, M
Not okay. It's ethically and morally wrong to bring a outsider in for an overnight visit.

Without paying rent it's even unethical just asking for permission.

Which also morally responsible parents should never let their underage daughter sleep unsupervised with an amorous pal like that for obvious reasons.
Its broke.

My brother gave up his place in the family by letting his firstborn (daughter) move back in with him (her father) and her boyfriend AND the two kids. I never got to know him much but I wanted to believe he was decent. Then when trying to visit my mother on the last day I would see her alive, be barred me from the door after my traveling 5 states on a bus to visit. I came back after she was there but not before waiting 6 or so hours in front of some strange scene with kitty animal abuse and such...to take down menory lane with me ( fed them all the sardines I could but they looked like they would all die of hunger.. yup)

Years later I visited and got insulted by the same man. Reason was I was the sister and the owner wasn't there, my brother mind u.

Some family...

While the creep abused me at the door my BROTHER AND THE DAUGHTER were downstairs hiding. Their job was to curtail the creep and honor me.

Months later an abusive phone call came in from the daughter cause I had the nerve to feel betrayed by my own family but this was occasion for that neice to curse me out.

Filthy trailer-trash stuff. Reality daytime TV garbage.

I now love having no family in my life.

Feels so CLEAN
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toddr13 · 41-45, M
So, it sounds like the owner of the house lives on the property as well. If that's the case, then it was disrespectful to allow an overnight guest without getting permission to do so, regardless as to whether or not rent is paid as the owner/occupant has allowed other family members on the property as roommates, essentially.

If the owner does not reside on the property, and there was no express rule about overnight guests, and the family members in tenancy have had the ability to exercise control over the property, again regardless as to rent because that's a moot point, then the mother would be free to set her own rules for her own family and allow an overnight guest. A guest is different than allowing someone else to move in, however, which would be a problem if this became a regular habit of overnight stays, when the owner should be consulted regarding the addition of another person to the household.

In my view, if the owner is an occupant of the premises, it was completely disrespectful, regardless as to the mother's right to set rules for her own family because that right is trumped by the fact that the family are roommates of the owner/occupant, who is ultimately responsible for the property.
Eddiesolds · 56-60, M
They have no respect at all
Your sister should pay rent and the owner should mind his own business about whom they invite.
Bimyself · 61-69
Dam you people live complicated lives!
twiigss · 41-45, MVIP
[@712464,Bimyself] I know and it sucks :(

I get it. But at the same time, no one ever thinks, gee should I ask? When I had my girlfriend over and I was living in the same part of the house 20 some years ago, she spent a night, and no one knew about it. Then on another occasion my dog wouldn't stop barking and it woke up the owner, they come downstairs and flipped out about her being here. We weren't even in bed yet, we were on the computer laughing about stuff.

See, in the owners mind, it's still 1950, and it's how they were raised that has them all screwed up. And if you even dare raise your voice while they have theirs raised, goodbye roof over your head.

I follow the rules and keep my head down. They need help carrying stuff in, or help with yard work, okay I'll go help. Better than trying to scrape by.

I just wish I could live with a non-drama family, and everything is normal. No anxiety, no pressures, just drive to work, come home, eat dinner, get on computer, go to bed. Simple. That's all I want.

But what's gonna happen is, you say to the owner "so and so will be staying here" owner: you never said that!!! (without raising your voice) calmly reply: when you and the other person were sitting upstairs, I mentioned it on that saturday.

Me sitting in my room: aaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnxxxxxxxxiiiiiiieeeeeettttttttyyyyyyyyyyyy anxiety :( Appetite goes away for 2 whole days, can't eat anything :(

It's so damn dysfunctional all because of one friggin person!! But, there's nothing I can do about it :(

 
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