Slurpee disappointment
OK so a number of years ago, when I was in college, I worked at 7-11. I already had a robust Slurpee addiction so I probably shouldn't have worked there,, but ... it's too late for that advice -- so shut it!
In the long run that might have killed my Slurpee addiction... or appetite for them at all. I have gone years without even having a single one. Then, recently, I was at a Japanese restaurant and they brought my date and I complimentary slush drinks, basically a lemonade Slurpee a'la Jaiponaise. So today when my youngest comes to me and asks me to take him to 7-11 to get their mother a buncha candy bars (really, a buncha) I knew that he was also going to grab a Slurpee... and I started contemplating that soft cool slushy treat...
I decided it was safe and alright to have one. They have 10,000 flavors, and me, being a Slurpee mixologist, knew that I could find the perfect combination for my discerning palette. When I went in they had pared it down to 6 active flavorrs and the slurpee area was a mess. They only had 2 sizes of cups (supposed to have like ...5) and they had stuck cups of those 2 sizes into the holes for the other sizes in case they get inspected. That made it hard for me to discern whether I was getting the large or the hyper-mega-ultra-large. I wanted a medium. Now the flavors... hmmm. OMG there really aren't even 6. I had decided on banana, that 7-11 seems to always have banana. The banana was a middle school diorama of an summertime iceberg; a slushy frozen mass floating in a syrupy mess. OK, maybe the slush will be what comes out when I ... aww, boo it's not. Just yellow water came from the spout so, not wanting to go home with someone's ill-hydrated golden shower I went on the hunt for another flavor or combo. Let's see... The best working flavors were peach and cola. I DO NOT LIKE PEACH. I worked a summer at a peach orchard and seeing them in the store still makes my arms and back itch. Argh. Cola sometimes adversely affects my bowels... well, it used to after 3 years of swilling cola Slurpees like they were the breath of life. Leaves Vitamin water lemonade... oops that's not frozen, so we're down to 2; Vitamin water Strawberry Lemonade and some other flavor that's like such a mega mix that they don't have a name reflectory of anything identifiable from nature or science.
So Strawberry lemonade it is,
fill a cup,
not small,
that other size,
whatever it is,
swooooosht,
and a zot of cola for zing
... not enough to affect my colon,
experiment with lids to find the right size -- I think the clerks just played ring-toss getting the lids loaded in there --
try wrong lids 3 times resulting in wasted lids,
toss lids I touched because -- COVID.
and go pay.
I go to the car after my son because in all this experimenting to get the right drink and lids, and paying with the slow clerk, I took a while... which he verified with "That took you awhile." I start rolling down the road and try my 1st sip... and ... it's ... not Strawberry Lemonade. sip sip sip. It's a little too zingy... sip sip sip...
It's just not right, but I can't ... sip sip sip... put my finger on... sip sip AUGH it's cherry.
Oh and I also don't like cherry.
In fact i hate it, I hate slurpees I hate that 7-11, and that slow clerk since I'm betting he just played ring-toss with the syrup canisters, too. And though Cherry won he didn't see fit to change the sign.. just reasoned that they're both red so...
Augh!!!
In the long run that might have killed my Slurpee addiction... or appetite for them at all. I have gone years without even having a single one. Then, recently, I was at a Japanese restaurant and they brought my date and I complimentary slush drinks, basically a lemonade Slurpee a'la Jaiponaise. So today when my youngest comes to me and asks me to take him to 7-11 to get their mother a buncha candy bars (really, a buncha) I knew that he was also going to grab a Slurpee... and I started contemplating that soft cool slushy treat...
I decided it was safe and alright to have one. They have 10,000 flavors, and me, being a Slurpee mixologist, knew that I could find the perfect combination for my discerning palette. When I went in they had pared it down to 6 active flavorrs and the slurpee area was a mess. They only had 2 sizes of cups (supposed to have like ...5) and they had stuck cups of those 2 sizes into the holes for the other sizes in case they get inspected. That made it hard for me to discern whether I was getting the large or the hyper-mega-ultra-large. I wanted a medium. Now the flavors... hmmm. OMG there really aren't even 6. I had decided on banana, that 7-11 seems to always have banana. The banana was a middle school diorama of an summertime iceberg; a slushy frozen mass floating in a syrupy mess. OK, maybe the slush will be what comes out when I ... aww, boo it's not. Just yellow water came from the spout so, not wanting to go home with someone's ill-hydrated golden shower I went on the hunt for another flavor or combo. Let's see... The best working flavors were peach and cola. I DO NOT LIKE PEACH. I worked a summer at a peach orchard and seeing them in the store still makes my arms and back itch. Argh. Cola sometimes adversely affects my bowels... well, it used to after 3 years of swilling cola Slurpees like they were the breath of life. Leaves Vitamin water lemonade... oops that's not frozen, so we're down to 2; Vitamin water Strawberry Lemonade and some other flavor that's like such a mega mix that they don't have a name reflectory of anything identifiable from nature or science.
So Strawberry lemonade it is,
fill a cup,
not small,
that other size,
whatever it is,
swooooosht,
and a zot of cola for zing
... not enough to affect my colon,
experiment with lids to find the right size -- I think the clerks just played ring-toss getting the lids loaded in there --
try wrong lids 3 times resulting in wasted lids,
toss lids I touched because -- COVID.
and go pay.
I go to the car after my son because in all this experimenting to get the right drink and lids, and paying with the slow clerk, I took a while... which he verified with "That took you awhile." I start rolling down the road and try my 1st sip... and ... it's ... not Strawberry Lemonade. sip sip sip. It's a little too zingy... sip sip sip...
It's just not right, but I can't ... sip sip sip... put my finger on... sip sip AUGH it's cherry.
Oh and I also don't like cherry.
In fact i hate it, I hate slurpees I hate that 7-11, and that slow clerk since I'm betting he just played ring-toss with the syrup canisters, too. And though Cherry won he didn't see fit to change the sign.. just reasoned that they're both red so...
Augh!!!
