I Hate People Who Talk During Movies

The LOUD One:... I'll admit that as a kid, I asked more than my share of questions during movies, mostly just trying to know what was going on or about things that didn't seem to make sense to me at the time. I was never guilty of trying to guide characters through the movie by offering suggestions or warnings the way some people seem compelled to do. But I thought I'd heard about as bad is it could get until the movie "The Bourne Ultimatum" came out in theaters. I went to see it alone since no one else seemed to be as excited to see the third Bourne movie as I was. I wasn't about to wait for the DVD or to see it on TV later. I picked a spot about halfway back on the left side of the theater. As the "coming soon" clips were playing, I heard a small group come in and sit down a few rows behind me. Within the first ten to fifteen minutes of the actual movie, when Jason Bourne got into one of the first tough situations of the movie, I heard a deep male voice behind me say loudly "Oh, he dead." This was said several times over pretty quickly. The word "dead" was pronounced more like "dayud". I wanted to turn and ask if he really thought they'd kill off the main character within minutes of the movie starting, but I didn't do it. A few minutes later "Oh, he dayud... He dayud now" came from behind. This went on and on with an occasional "shush" from someone else in the theater. One particularly loud "shush" was responded to by the loud one with "What!? Who that be? Who say shush?" But no one owned up and his companions quieted him down. But then came the scene where Jason Bourne is running across rooftops in Tangier trying to save Niki Parsons from the assassin named Desh. Almost the whole scene came with exclamations from behind me to "Git eem, git eem, git eem." (Get him, meaning for Bourne to hurry up and get Desh). The loudest point came when Bourne informs Noah Vosen by phone that if Vosen were really in his office right now, that they'd be having this conversation face to face. The loud one quickly jumped up and exclaimed "Yeah... He got your ass now!!... He done got your ass!!!" His companions again began to quiet him down back there, but by now more people were looking back his way than were watching the screen. But not to be disappointed before the movie ended, when Bourne jumps from a roof into the river and is motionless at first as he sinks, everyone in the theater was treated to just one more session of "Oh, he dayud... He dayud this time for sure." When leaving the theater after the movie ended, he could clearly be heard above everything else claiming that he thought "He be lookin' like he gonna be dayud all the time." It felt a little strange seeing the movie again later without all the claims coming from behind me.