I deserved that to be honest.

I want to be accepted and viewed as more than just some weirdo but it's hard for me to handle certain things, I cannot handle rejection, when a best friend leaves me I take it as 'welp, this person hates me so I must hate them', a dark voice in my head always tells me 'this person clearly hates you and deserves to be punished', when it's me that clearly deserves that. I am vindictive, i'm creepy, i'm a terrible person and I frankly deserve what I got for being a bad person.