I Am a Social Reject

It seems that everywhere I go, people just never want to be around me. The only place that I’ve been that I’ve actually felt wanted was at an old people’s home, I volunteered to make them lunch and to spend time with them. They were all saying what a lovely young woman I was and how kind I was being, but I wonder if they were 60-80 years younger if they would be saying the same things.

At school I was viewed as a bit of freak and when my friends found partners I was left alone. I wasn’t ever unpleasant to anyone, the fact is I was too terrified to talk to half of them, but if they asked to borrow a pen or for a piece of paper I’d always lend them out. That’s all I was used for, lending out stuff and giving sweets away. Other than that I was told I was a freak and that I didn’t belong. I tried not to let it bother me, I’m not really sure what I did to make them be that nasty to me. If continued in college, I don’t get bullied like I did in school but the first year I had absolutely no friends. They quickly sorted into little groups and then I was always the odd one out. When I switched colleges it happened again, so I’m Currently trying to power through. Again it’s like when I have something they notice me but when I don’t they don’t notice me. I’ve spent the past week sitting alone on a table meant for 6 because some people have left college and frankly I’m getting a bit sick of this shit.

If someone would simply have the balls to tell me why I’m such a freak, why I don’t have any friends and why people seem to instantly hate me as soon as they see me it would make my world so much better.