I Am Forgiven
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How do you forgive people?

I used the group title overhead because I know Jesus Christ has forgiven me. Now it is my duty to forgive others.

I have had a LOT of bad things done to me in my life by bad people. If you read my Featured story here under my Profile you will know what I'm talking about although the story was long enough so I had no room to list them all. But I've truly been thru the wringer. I had a terrible scary abusive childhood. I had the mother from Hell. In my younger years I had physically and emotionally abusive boyfriends. Later I fell in love with a man who died of lung cancer and right after he died I found out he'd married one of the many women he'd been cheating on me with (he married her on my birthday in the resort town where we'd spent a very romantic weekend); I wasn't even invited to his funeral. I still visit his grave now and then. The heartbreaks never seemed to quit in my life.

So...I need all the tips I can get on how to forgive people. It's hard to forgive when you'd still like to throttle these peopke and then toss them over a high cliff with sharp rocks below it. This is not how Jesus handled those who hurt him; He forgave those who harmed Him. I would like to do the same.
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VicSpanner · 51-55, M
It depends what they've done.
I don't know about Jesus but what I will say is that the pain you feel is what you are carrying. Those that hurt you and abused you are either no longer here or do not care and have left you to carry the weight of it. Hanging on to resentment, anger and hate affects you more than anyone so let go. Fill your life with the things you live, find a worthwhile cause and throw your energy into that and hopefully your heart will find the peace that it deserves.
curiosi · 56-60, F
I have struggled for years to forgive all the abuse that was done to me as well. Like you the list is long. I don't feel that we can, all as we can do is ask God to help us.
not forgiving feels like you're chastising yourself
Classified · M
A little thought in the hope it helps. If you can't do anything with it, just put it away. 🙂

Jesus carried all the sins, not merely only from those who would eventually enter heaven. Because of that He is the key to forgiveness, also when we need to forgive others. You talked about duty, which makes it sound like it falls solely on you, but Jesus has also carried this hardship. Please try to do it together with Him. He's on your side.
If a person or people do something seriously wrong to you and refuse to admit to, or apologise for what they did (especially if they are actually breaking laws or perverting the course of justice)...then, there is no forgiveness for them...that is why we have hell!

These abusers though will usually refuse to stop abusing you, but at the same time demand that you forgive them...they also usually deliberately ignore every single signal grace from God Himself on your behalf...

They deliberately and wilfully refuse to accept or understand anything!

But If they confess their sin, and make serious changes to their lives to repent and put an end to that sin, then that is a different matter altogether...

 
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