I Am Thinking About Someone Right Now

I have had a few people on my mind A LOT lately. No idea what triggered it but man I can't stop thinking about them. I used to be really close to them and I miss it, very much. They probably were not ideal relationships but they are some of the very few that I have let tear down many of my walls and see the person inside. Honestly I can't blame them if they were scared, I am afraid I can be rather intense with my feelings and can get very serious, so much so that some of the humor that I protect myself with fades and they find what some may consider a very different person. It isn't a different person it is just an intensity that they were not expecting. Not a creepy or evil intensity, but I can understand that it could make some people pull away which is probably why I have built so many walls and don't let anyone in easily.

One of them I used to work with and we would spend a lot of time together, she knew my true personality, actually I think she knew me better than anyone else even my family. She would make me so mad, and I mean red hot angry then sit there pushing it further, she wasn't afraid I would get violent, I think it was her method of getting past the walls. Our relationship was completely platonic, by her choice, and yes I had feelings for her, but that isn't relevant, I had come to terms with that a long time ago and we built a friendship. After I moved and my trips back up there became less and less frequent we seem to have pulled away from each other and it really makes me sad because I miss what we had.