I Am Thinking About Someone Right Now

can't believe its only been a month and it feels like decades have passed everyday is like a challenge and now that I'm home for 3 days I feel so tired and happy that there is someone who listens to my voice when I call them there is someone to tell me something there no1 asks where I am only she did and now that she's gone and only a month has passed I feel like the last 2 years of college will be bad as hell I just hope something changes when I go back I just hope it does happen I've heard every cloud has a silver lining but so far my silver lining is far beyond the cloud everyday I close my eyes and I see her right there but when I want to hold her hand she's gone vanished in thin air and I realise the world is real when I open my eyes. every night I get up in the middle of the night sometimes shocked sometimes crying sometimes just numb. I don't feel anything sometimes I just wake up put MY earphones and block the world. its weird whatever's happening I just want everything to change I'm trying to change things but I guess I need someone just like her who helped me 4 years ago in my darkest times I don't know who's it gonna be but I hope that when she comes she never leaves me because more heartbreaks is something I can't manage anymore