I Wish I Was Dead

I can't wait for the sweet release of death. I long for the rest that death will give me. My life seems to be more increasingly precarious. I look back at my life and all I see is abuse, sadness and other boring things. I never had a life. I never went to prom. I was momentarily at a high school dance for say less than a minute because I was working for my high school that evening doing some janitorial work.

I have sometimes felt pain on the sides of my stomach. It comes and goes, but not lately. Don't know if it means something but I almost welcome bad health. I wish I had a sudden aneurysm and just be dead.

I wish suicide/dying was easier. I wonder if I lived in the Netherlands or Switzerland if I could qualify for assisted suicide, if they're willing to let me expire.