Our lives do depend on the approval of others, which is something we need to come to terms with. I can decrease my desire for validation but I don’t think anyone can get rid of it altogether in order to be on good terms with those around us. We pay our bills, we don’t think, “I’m not going to pay, I don’t care what they think of me!” We very well know in this conditional life, if you don’t do what it says on paper you will bear a consequence that is painful and you’d rather not face. We attempt to follow the rules and standards at school or our jobs, we don’t think, “Oh what others think means nothing to me, I will do what I want!” We know we will get fired, suspended, or bare some consequence that is not desirable so we mold ourselves after our authorities. We submit to the law that attempts to decrease chaos to the greatest degree possible. We can’t just think, “I will say and act how I want!”, because unless we live by ourselves we have to be cautious with the situation and desire of those in close proximity to us to avoid conflict. Attention, validation, and acceptance. Attention is the first desire in our lives from when we are young and desire to feel worthy. Validation comes in after the desire for attention fades, now we want to be validated and thought of as reasonable and skillful in our craft. Last but not least, the desire for acceptance is what remains in our adulthood. If we don’t conform to the standards of being accepted by those in our surroundings we are either reprimanded, sent to be fixed, locked up, alone in the streets, or not alive. I will seek the acceptance that is necessary for my survival through following the rules and standards placed by authority to the best of my ability. Now acceptance that has to do with peer pressure found in product consumption or in doing or being someone I am not, I will be resilient against. With time, I will grow more and more immune to the judgements and negative labels placed on me for being myself, for being or thinking different, and for not conforming to everything without questioning it first. Progress to me is seen in how much my mood is affected by others, if I can remain unaffected by the indifference or criticism of others, that would be the greatest desire and accomplishment. Of my life.
