I Have Lost a Child

There is no way to describe the feelings you go through when losing a child. When my son was recently killed in an accident, I was not only saddened but angry at the world. And, of course, angry at who or what ever hit him.

Yesterday, I had a friend take me out on his boat to spread my son's ashes at his favorite surf spot. I was nicely surprised to see that a few of his surfing buddies were already there on their boards waiting for me to share in this moment. It was nice to see that he was cared for enough to have them want to be there. I didn't even realize the word had spread. I thought it was just going to be me, his partner, and the driver of the boat. But, I was wrong. Pleasantly of course.

As I spread his ashes, his partner read a poem that he had written the day after the accident. It was touching and full of love. Of course, I cried as I listened to his words.

When the ceremony was over, my son's partner took me out to lunch and we shared our favorite memories, had some good cries, and some laughter, which really felt good. It's was just what I needed to feel somewhat better about the situation.

I am here back at work, feeling like I've had the chance to say my peace, and to feel a bit of closure. While I continue to mourn, I think I'll be okay.

Goodbye, my dear son. Rest in peace.

xoxox