I Am Still Haunted By The Trauma

I have PTRD. I was dating my Ex at the time and he took me for granted throughout the relationship. I was always bussing to be and see him. For about 10 months. I felt sad that he never came to visit me. I broke things off. Later on, he slept with my best friend. My best friend manipulated my local friends and never told them the full story. They suddenly lashed out at me. It caused a lot of trauma. I do not have a good situation at home either when I came home. My mom saw me crying and asked me why was I crying. I told her what happened. Keep in mind. My mom is not a supportive person. She told me it was my fault for being cheated on.

I stayed indoors for 2 years. All I made was online friends because I told myself repetitively. I was not worthy of having friends.

I got together with the Ex. I always wanted to know what cosplay was like being around him. He would body shame me a lot. Even at a birthday party. He pointed out at my belly. I felt like I wanted to disappear when everyone started at it. Whenever he met a friend of mine. He would bring up my weight as a topic. I would have people come up to me and ask "why are you with the individual?" I just never thought so much because I never knew better. His negging took me down to a dark tunnel.

He tells people about my body and that I stalk him.

Should I bother attend local conventions? I feel that the little convention nearby me. Is not worth attending anymore. I just feel like I want to leave a letter telling him I'm leaving the city for good. I feel like I'm trapped with my own insecurities and I rather stay indoors than go outside now. I lost a lot of motivation ever since I lost my group of friends.