I Am a Person Who Likes to Party Hard

It's not unusual for somebody to have to scrape me off a floor someplace,stuff me into a taxi/uber whatever and send me off back home. I've been found shivering in bathroom stalls, passed out on couches, laying in puddles of my own vomit. All in the name of a good time. At least I'll have great stories to tell everyone when I'm 70 living in a condo on the beach somewhere.