I Love Getting Muddy
The Estuary
It was a spring evening and off we went, fully kitted out in wellies and yellow waterproofs, to the ford. This was where things went wrong. The field was full of horses and when we tried to enter the field they came galloping at us. There was nothing for it. A quick retreat over the gate. The horses still came to the gate and were quite friendly, but there was no way that the boggy bit by the springs or the up-river mud patch were going to be available to us.
To make things worse there was some sort of problem on the main road and so there were several cars using ‘our’ back lane. Not safe to use the ford and bridge, We sat in the car wondering where to go. We were determined to have a romp.
Sally was checking the glove box in the car for any forgotten sweets she could find when a tide table fell out onto the floor. She looked at me and I looked at her. A check showed that the tide on the coast was on the way out. Off we went. It was getting dark when we arrived and parked the car round the back of a recycling site. There were no lights but it was not fully dark either. I was a bit pleased with myself as I had managed to drive there with my wellies on. Normally the short distance to the river is a bit erratic and I often went in trainers, pulling my boots on when we got there.
The tide looked as if it was half way out and what light there was shone off the wet surface. We were parked near the end of a footpath and we knew that we would have to go along the path a bit to find a place where we could get in. The first part was quite a drop and there was all sorts of builders rubble dumped in there so we knew that we would have to go further. On we went splashing in any muddy puddles we saw and keeping a good lookout for dog walkers. Before long we came to a bit that sloped gently to a small drop at the start of the mud. We stood there for a minute looking at each other and then jumped, still holding hands.
We were not at all sure how far we would go in, but I was totally surprised when we were only ankle deep. The mud was also a bit firmer than expected. I stood there thinking this is not how it should be. Sally took a couple of tentative steps forward and only seemed to be a little deeper. She looked at me to come with her.
Working on the principle that it must get deeper it came quite naturally to us to make a game of it. A simple game of scissors, paper rock had the loser (winner?) moving one step further in. Using this we moved erratically forward until Sally was a bit in front and the top of her wellies had sunk to the level of the mud. I was close behind. I won the next one and Sally moved forward. I tried to declare myself the winner, but Sally pointed out that the mud might be higher than the boots, but none had come in. A couple of rounds later and I was in front as the mud finally started to slide into the wellies. I had to admit that I had lost and Sally came to join me. The mud was up to our knees and we thought that we might not want to to risk laying in it as we were not sure about getting stuck.
We went back towards the bank and it was hard work, without ever feeling that we were going to get into difficulties. What did surprise us was how quickly our footprints disappeared, when the mud was firmer than expected.
Back at something just over ankle deep we knew that we were only muddy to our knees with a few odd blobs above. To counteract the we decided to put our feet together, hold hands and turn round in a sort of ring-o-roses style until we were turning so fast that we fell apart and landed on our backs with a splat. I had to roll over to use my arms to push myself up. Sally was still sitting in the mud. I took her hands and pulled her up. Now there was a difference. I had some mud all over me, Sally was still more or less clean on her front above the waist. I grabbed her and pulled her close so that I could wipe some mud from my front onto hers. She giggled and tried to wriggle away so I grabbed her by the waist and dragged her down.
Ending up on our knees we started to slap mud onto each other. This ended up with us rolling about and each ensuring that the other was completely covered. It took us time to realise that as we churned up the mud, it was becoming softer and sloppy. At the point where we had been ankle deep we were now much deeper and as I rolled onto Sally she almost disappeared. We continued to roll about together sinking in further and further and the now runny mud was filling our boots, coming up our sleeves through the waist and to a lesser extent in at the neck.
We kept this up until we were shattered and then made out way back to the car. In case there was a TV security camera on the recycling point we hid behind the car and I helped Sally strip off her waterproofs and boots. We were both totally surprised when inside she was a bit wet, but the actual mud had not made that much impression. Having donned her track suit it was my turn. I was down to my undies when a car came roaring up. I dived into the back of the car and Sally jumped into the driving seat. We locked to doors and waited. The new car stopped and the driver got out. There was not enough space for us to drive out past them, so all we could do was wait. My clothes were still all in the boot.
We waited with baited breath. He went to the back of the car and started to chuck bags of rubbish over the wall into the dump. I bet that was illegal. Suddenly, just as fast as he had arrived the driver jumped in, reversed up and turned. He was gone. Sally decided that she wanted to leave and she started to drive almost as quickly down the road as out recent friend. Driving my car, with the seat set for me, Sally was not very familiar with the position and there was a few dodgy gear shifts at first. Sally did not stop until she was in our driveway. It was not till then that she saw me in the back barely dressed. She doubled out in laughter. “Made sure you were there, but not how you were dressed.” She left the car and opened the front door. Still laughing she beckoned me in. She was making the most of this and I had to creep out of the car, go round the back of it and up the short path. Not daring to look about, I just made a bolt for it. As far as I know, none of the neighbours saw anything as their curtains were closed by now.
It was a spring evening and off we went, fully kitted out in wellies and yellow waterproofs, to the ford. This was where things went wrong. The field was full of horses and when we tried to enter the field they came galloping at us. There was nothing for it. A quick retreat over the gate. The horses still came to the gate and were quite friendly, but there was no way that the boggy bit by the springs or the up-river mud patch were going to be available to us.
To make things worse there was some sort of problem on the main road and so there were several cars using ‘our’ back lane. Not safe to use the ford and bridge, We sat in the car wondering where to go. We were determined to have a romp.
Sally was checking the glove box in the car for any forgotten sweets she could find when a tide table fell out onto the floor. She looked at me and I looked at her. A check showed that the tide on the coast was on the way out. Off we went. It was getting dark when we arrived and parked the car round the back of a recycling site. There were no lights but it was not fully dark either. I was a bit pleased with myself as I had managed to drive there with my wellies on. Normally the short distance to the river is a bit erratic and I often went in trainers, pulling my boots on when we got there.
The tide looked as if it was half way out and what light there was shone off the wet surface. We were parked near the end of a footpath and we knew that we would have to go along the path a bit to find a place where we could get in. The first part was quite a drop and there was all sorts of builders rubble dumped in there so we knew that we would have to go further. On we went splashing in any muddy puddles we saw and keeping a good lookout for dog walkers. Before long we came to a bit that sloped gently to a small drop at the start of the mud. We stood there for a minute looking at each other and then jumped, still holding hands.
We were not at all sure how far we would go in, but I was totally surprised when we were only ankle deep. The mud was also a bit firmer than expected. I stood there thinking this is not how it should be. Sally took a couple of tentative steps forward and only seemed to be a little deeper. She looked at me to come with her.
Working on the principle that it must get deeper it came quite naturally to us to make a game of it. A simple game of scissors, paper rock had the loser (winner?) moving one step further in. Using this we moved erratically forward until Sally was a bit in front and the top of her wellies had sunk to the level of the mud. I was close behind. I won the next one and Sally moved forward. I tried to declare myself the winner, but Sally pointed out that the mud might be higher than the boots, but none had come in. A couple of rounds later and I was in front as the mud finally started to slide into the wellies. I had to admit that I had lost and Sally came to join me. The mud was up to our knees and we thought that we might not want to to risk laying in it as we were not sure about getting stuck.
We went back towards the bank and it was hard work, without ever feeling that we were going to get into difficulties. What did surprise us was how quickly our footprints disappeared, when the mud was firmer than expected.
Back at something just over ankle deep we knew that we were only muddy to our knees with a few odd blobs above. To counteract the we decided to put our feet together, hold hands and turn round in a sort of ring-o-roses style until we were turning so fast that we fell apart and landed on our backs with a splat. I had to roll over to use my arms to push myself up. Sally was still sitting in the mud. I took her hands and pulled her up. Now there was a difference. I had some mud all over me, Sally was still more or less clean on her front above the waist. I grabbed her and pulled her close so that I could wipe some mud from my front onto hers. She giggled and tried to wriggle away so I grabbed her by the waist and dragged her down.
Ending up on our knees we started to slap mud onto each other. This ended up with us rolling about and each ensuring that the other was completely covered. It took us time to realise that as we churned up the mud, it was becoming softer and sloppy. At the point where we had been ankle deep we were now much deeper and as I rolled onto Sally she almost disappeared. We continued to roll about together sinking in further and further and the now runny mud was filling our boots, coming up our sleeves through the waist and to a lesser extent in at the neck.
We kept this up until we were shattered and then made out way back to the car. In case there was a TV security camera on the recycling point we hid behind the car and I helped Sally strip off her waterproofs and boots. We were both totally surprised when inside she was a bit wet, but the actual mud had not made that much impression. Having donned her track suit it was my turn. I was down to my undies when a car came roaring up. I dived into the back of the car and Sally jumped into the driving seat. We locked to doors and waited. The new car stopped and the driver got out. There was not enough space for us to drive out past them, so all we could do was wait. My clothes were still all in the boot.
We waited with baited breath. He went to the back of the car and started to chuck bags of rubbish over the wall into the dump. I bet that was illegal. Suddenly, just as fast as he had arrived the driver jumped in, reversed up and turned. He was gone. Sally decided that she wanted to leave and she started to drive almost as quickly down the road as out recent friend. Driving my car, with the seat set for me, Sally was not very familiar with the position and there was a few dodgy gear shifts at first. Sally did not stop until she was in our driveway. It was not till then that she saw me in the back barely dressed. She doubled out in laughter. “Made sure you were there, but not how you were dressed.” She left the car and opened the front door. Still laughing she beckoned me in. She was making the most of this and I had to creep out of the car, go round the back of it and up the short path. Not daring to look about, I just made a bolt for it. As far as I know, none of the neighbours saw anything as their curtains were closed by now.
36-40, F
