I Sometimes Talk To My Monster

Reality

I wish I could see what comes next.
I wish I was already there, looking back.
I am inpatient.
I want to see over the brow of the hill.
I want to see who I am then.
I’m scared.
I don’t mind saying I am really fucking nervous about what I’m doing.
I know I am putting it off now, delaying the shock.
I fought for this, I fought against myself for all those years, & here we are.
I wish I could see what comes next.