I Want to Make Friends That Wont Hurt Or Use Or Betray Me
Just a bit of a rant/vent - and wrote something similar years ago on Experience Project.
So I was dating/seeing someone who lived a bit of a distance away (70 miles or so) for a couple of months, and I honestly thought we were getting along; and we spoke every day (which is rare as people often lose interest, I find) and we both agreed we wanted something serious in time.
So we've had five dates (I wish it could have been more, but distance/health issues) and they have gradually gotten better, and I am optimistic for the future; but also worried as I'm more emotionally invested.
So I ask for just a bit of reassurance that they still want the same thing, and I get a really facetious/flippant reply, and it does kind of hurt and annoy me. Basically I write cute little cards, saying I enjoyed the date and general reassuring things (also I don't expect things in return, as it seems weird) and what was said sounded like a dig at that, and our choice of date locations (Wetherspoons...so UK) and I was like "If you feel that way..." and kinda left it at that, as I knew I might reply in anger or something, and all they could say was "It was a joke!"
But I went for a walk to clear my head, but just thinking about it made me even angrier that they'd even think for a second it was funny to be edgy. When I got home I did kind of crash out and go in a slump (went to bed and didn't eat or drink for a day and a bit) and didn't get any further messages, asking how I was or anything.
So come Tuesday evening I try messaging, and basically get ghosted - and felt bad, because it was really nice up until that point, and seems silly to leave on such a sour note. I feel all the positive and supportive things I did were swept away, even though I feel I was right to be annoyed.
The situation did get me really anxious and down, and I did try and message again on different platforms but again nothing, and all they ended up doing was making everything private. I hold my hands up I should have just left it, and got really panicked; but I find the ghosting/ignoring annoying given I had legitimate reasons for not replying straight away, but I tried to explain my stance, but my messages just went unread.
Even more annoying as they went on about people ignoring them, and them ending up in a similar situation. Also annoying as I struggle to meet new people or strike or any real rapport.
Wew sorry for that!
So I was dating/seeing someone who lived a bit of a distance away (70 miles or so) for a couple of months, and I honestly thought we were getting along; and we spoke every day (which is rare as people often lose interest, I find) and we both agreed we wanted something serious in time.
So we've had five dates (I wish it could have been more, but distance/health issues) and they have gradually gotten better, and I am optimistic for the future; but also worried as I'm more emotionally invested.
So I ask for just a bit of reassurance that they still want the same thing, and I get a really facetious/flippant reply, and it does kind of hurt and annoy me. Basically I write cute little cards, saying I enjoyed the date and general reassuring things (also I don't expect things in return, as it seems weird) and what was said sounded like a dig at that, and our choice of date locations (Wetherspoons...so UK) and I was like "If you feel that way..." and kinda left it at that, as I knew I might reply in anger or something, and all they could say was "It was a joke!"
But I went for a walk to clear my head, but just thinking about it made me even angrier that they'd even think for a second it was funny to be edgy. When I got home I did kind of crash out and go in a slump (went to bed and didn't eat or drink for a day and a bit) and didn't get any further messages, asking how I was or anything.
So come Tuesday evening I try messaging, and basically get ghosted - and felt bad, because it was really nice up until that point, and seems silly to leave on such a sour note. I feel all the positive and supportive things I did were swept away, even though I feel I was right to be annoyed.
The situation did get me really anxious and down, and I did try and message again on different platforms but again nothing, and all they ended up doing was making everything private. I hold my hands up I should have just left it, and got really panicked; but I find the ghosting/ignoring annoying given I had legitimate reasons for not replying straight away, but I tried to explain my stance, but my messages just went unread.
Even more annoying as they went on about people ignoring them, and them ending up in a similar situation. Also annoying as I struggle to meet new people or strike or any real rapport.
Wew sorry for that!
