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I Want to Make Friends That Wont Hurt Or Use Or Betray Me

Just a bit of a rant/vent - and wrote something similar years ago on Experience Project.

So I was dating/seeing someone who lived a bit of a distance away (70 miles or so) for a couple of months, and I honestly thought we were getting along; and we spoke every day (which is rare as people often lose interest, I find) and we both agreed we wanted something serious in time.

So we've had five dates (I wish it could have been more, but distance/health issues) and they have gradually gotten better, and I am optimistic for the future; but also worried as I'm more emotionally invested.

So I ask for just a bit of reassurance that they still want the same thing, and I get a really facetious/flippant reply, and it does kind of hurt and annoy me. Basically I write cute little cards, saying I enjoyed the date and general reassuring things (also I don't expect things in return, as it seems weird) and what was said sounded like a dig at that, and our choice of date locations (Wetherspoons...so UK) and I was like "If you feel that way..." and kinda left it at that, as I knew I might reply in anger or something, and all they could say was "It was a joke!"

But I went for a walk to clear my head, but just thinking about it made me even angrier that they'd even think for a second it was funny to be edgy. When I got home I did kind of crash out and go in a slump (went to bed and didn't eat or drink for a day and a bit) and didn't get any further messages, asking how I was or anything.

So come Tuesday evening I try messaging, and basically get ghosted - and felt bad, because it was really nice up until that point, and seems silly to leave on such a sour note. I feel all the positive and supportive things I did were swept away, even though I feel I was right to be annoyed.

The situation did get me really anxious and down, and I did try and message again on different platforms but again nothing, and all they ended up doing was making everything private. I hold my hands up I should have just left it, and got really panicked; but I find the ghosting/ignoring annoying given I had legitimate reasons for not replying straight away, but I tried to explain my stance, but my messages just went unread.

Even more annoying as they went on about people ignoring them, and them ending up in a similar situation. Also annoying as I struggle to meet new people or strike or any real rapport.

Wew sorry for that!
Beatbox34 · 26-30, M
I tried that and I have failed miserably at making genuine friends. I once thought I had someone on Earth who had my back. It turned out that she used me as a rebound.

Now, I don't trust or believe in people. I'm happy as I am and am learning to embrace that people are fucking assholes.
SW User
[@476293,Beatbox34] treat them nice as you are nice. Just don’t fall head over heals in love with them... 🙂
Beatbox34 · 26-30, M
[@830641,MadameX] I keep my distance from them. I help and be nice with boundaries.
SW User
[@476293,Beatbox34] Okay... that’s fair enough... People sometimes are the worst of God’s creation.
SW User
People are fickle and sometimes as hard as we try, we never know their true intentions...I’m sorry you were hurt but there is a sea of people out there, if that’s what you want... 😊
SW User
[@1028909,endlesshelix] Dont go there... watch them on tv... that’s quite a sickness...my mother is borderline... lol
[@830641,MadameX] Damn get me getting chastised haha 🥺 yes I will behave!
SW User
[@1028909,endlesshelix] awww 🤗🤗🤗

 
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I Want to Make Friends That Wont Hurt Or Use Or Betray Me
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