I Believe In Change
Watching yourself through someone else's eyes can truly be a life changing experience. Last night I had dinner with a friend and her husband. She couldn't find a baby sitter so she brought her kids along.
Sitting across the table right from the time we entered, all I could hear was complaints and constant nagging. At first I became annoyed that I had to hear all of this after a long hard day at work, but then something clicked in me and I began to watch her carefully. I started remembering how my husband would get annoyed when I nag at him. He would always ask me why did I change so drastically once the kids were born. He spoke to me on numerous occasions about the way my nagging is the reason behind most of our fights. All that time I paid no attention to him. I thought he was just passing the buck onto me. It's funny that after all these years I can understand what he meant. I can see clearly now how he felt.
I may not be able to mend my ways in my marriage anymore but I can sure as hell learn not to do the same with my kids.
Although this may sound like a very small issue amongst all of the bigger trials that married people face, I think if a person is constantly being treated this way, all the built up frustration could one day become a major turn off. No one wants to spend their lives with a someone that is no longer happy, someone who finds a problem with nitty gritty stuff. Someone who would rather complain than try to fix things.
Sitting across the table right from the time we entered, all I could hear was complaints and constant nagging. At first I became annoyed that I had to hear all of this after a long hard day at work, but then something clicked in me and I began to watch her carefully. I started remembering how my husband would get annoyed when I nag at him. He would always ask me why did I change so drastically once the kids were born. He spoke to me on numerous occasions about the way my nagging is the reason behind most of our fights. All that time I paid no attention to him. I thought he was just passing the buck onto me. It's funny that after all these years I can understand what he meant. I can see clearly now how he felt.
I may not be able to mend my ways in my marriage anymore but I can sure as hell learn not to do the same with my kids.
Although this may sound like a very small issue amongst all of the bigger trials that married people face, I think if a person is constantly being treated this way, all the built up frustration could one day become a major turn off. No one wants to spend their lives with a someone that is no longer happy, someone who finds a problem with nitty gritty stuff. Someone who would rather complain than try to fix things.
