After this dear lady left EP, for her own reasons, I created another group named "I Loved Hongruilin". I used the past tense, rather than the present "love" as her presence, for all I knew, was no longer on EP. It was bit sad as by that time to many she was a footnote and only 3 joined that group.
A story of mine was the only post to it. And I shall post that again, here, in the group celebrating her "presence" and not past.
It is my secret wish that some day she comes to this site, even if to check it out. And I hope that if she does, she sees the love and sweet memories from those that held her in high esteem, once--and still do. For I think it would mean a lot, to many, if they could reconcile with her , if only for a few moments. And I believe it would do her heart good as well. Love is best when it is shared.
And I hope she remembers to "breathe"
*runs away
---Just Breathe
Life can be funny at times. Throw us for a loop. Take us and spin us around, jumble us up to the almost point of insanity, yet somehow, always put us back together as we were. And if we are lucky. we may just wind up better off than we were. Those are special times. They are the extra cup of coffee or tea time for just you;"me time", to savor and reflect on the situation.
Tolkien wrote a line for his most wisest literary creation, Gandalf the Grey which I often think of. "All who wonder are not lost". And how true. Yet some are also past the point of no return(but enough of them)
But I would add that "All that is lost may not be lost forever" . That happened to me today. One of those moments I spoke above- the one that created pause and in this case, joy, in my heart. And one I have reflected one for a while today.
One long forgotten morning in mid 2013 I came on this site only to find two friends of mine lost or distressed. One of them , the long departed BeautifulDreams42 could write verses that angels smiled upon reading. Perhaps she could not inspire like the other, then one whose group this is named for. For she inspired in a far different way. Point being, both could and did inspire-daily-and uplift the hearts and souls of many they came in contact with . They were a joy to be around. Yes, I miss Hongruilin a great deal and that shall never end.
It is comparable to Poe's love for "Annabel Lee" , a love that death itself could not usurp, uproot and end. Nay! It perhaps only made Poe's love stronger, deeper and more impassioned than before. For his love for her is timeless, eternal and unending. Poe, and I , are a bit alike in ways. OK, many ways.
But on that day I could see that it was me that it fell to to do the inspiring. And I did-or tried. And I believe I may have succeeded that day. For the hearts of both of those ladies were lightened. I like to think my words had a small role in that.
So, what is the kicker of all this? Why the dissertation on how life can be funny. Well I had thought this poem, this that I wrote with with deep love and regard that day was gone forever. It was a poem I did not save. I never felt I had to as I never thought some could be as hateful as they are are get my account down. But , that is an old story. Many of my tales were lost.
And then today-while doing a search on my PC for something else, this came up-No-I have clue where -or how. I had searched before only to no avail. Yet there is was-as remembered; and as it appreared on that distressed day. And now here it is again. Reprinted. With the thoughts of those two in my mind as I write this all over again. One I can visit by going to a blog. It is easy to be inspired by her all over again. And as for the other, the one I equate to Poe's poem, like Poe's lost love, I fear mine is as well. And like him I am left with sad laments .
Enjoy "Just Breathe"
Just Breathe at the water’s edge; Just breathe while in the field. Inhale the lavender and the lilac. Look to see their yields.
Just Breathe on your front porch swing; Just breathe in the park Enjoy the day and all its wonders; For to soon is it dark.
Just Breathe while you‘re writing; Just breathe in the rain. Remember those who love you; Love them back again.
Just breathe while you’re shopping; Just breathe in your bath. When the road you’re trav’ling’s impassible Forge another path.
Just Breathe in the Sunshine; And the Moon Shine too. Just breathe my dear in all you do; Just know that you’re loved too.
Never think that you’re not worthy; Or hide your head in shame. My dear you are so much more than that. Now breathe, just breathe again.
(Originally published on Experience Project on Jul 28, 2015)
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SW-User
It's so funny I came across this today, I was meandering around my own laptop and came across screen shots I had taken back in 2014 of my own EP profile to prove harassment from a woman <who resides here now..>
I too got on with EPKimi, she was a lovely soul and I was very fond of her.. she was the only person who listened to me on so many issues..
It is a bit funny-or ironic as some may say. As i said in my preface. "Life can be that way" Odd how often we are taken back to our recent past and for some reason discover something totally unrelated- but yet, just so right!
It is sweet to see you on my story and I am glad you stopped by. And thanks you for the compliment- the poem almost wrote itself. Neither would ever admit they were special-but they were-so many saw that(and embraced it)-and so it was easy to write for them and remind them to ground themselves and also to feel loved.
Kimi was very dear. She and I just clicked. She was always one to listen.
Sorry that you were harassed on EP. Such a shame. People can be so hurtful and malicious. I was speaking about an hour ago-on another post about two women that used to be close on EP-and then shit hit the fan and the nae calling and accusations started. Shame- As it emotionally damaged both.
OK-essay over.
SW-User
@Elandra77: It was a pleasure and thank you, and I must drop by more often and of course.. I read this because I love Hongruilin, she was in my circle, she was awesome and this is why I read this.
@MightyAphrodite: I am glad you did stop by then As Hon was awesome and so very loved. And very missed. Some of the sweetest people on EP could be found in her circle.
She had a gift for vocabulary much as I do. But her gift was gar greater than mine. She had the capability to have us laughing so hard one minute our sides hurt-and the next, in the same post, as she spoke a sentence or two of her childhood, we were in tears, if not awe, crying for the helpless little girl that not deserve whatever fate she was speaking of. Such was her range of emotion.
In short, (and maybe without her even knowing it) she MADE the reader CARE for her.
As a note-the Hongruilin Serenity Prayer is in this group. Also reprinted from EP.