I Think Validation Is Important

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I Think Validation Is Important

I think validation is dangerous on the internet.

I don't come here often and create posts, sometimes I just come and read, leave comments and heart what I like.

But I've noticed a growing trend here.

The desire to be validated.

You could be a troll or you could be considered a [i][b]"nice" [/b][/i]person.
But everytime each of those people get that validation, they actually grow their boastful ego.

I have witnessed trolls gain friends that gang up against anyone with an opinion different to theirs, goading them to snap, calling their bluff about reporting them, but I have also witnessed[i][b] "nice" [/b][/i]people request you tell them why they shouldnt leave (are too great to not leave) when they are feeling less than enthusiastic about staying.

We're always quick to jump on the troll because they are so outwardly aggressive and oppressive but how is that [i][b]"nice" [/b][/i]person any different?
What because they use the guise of feeling down? burnout? Fed up? They create a manipulative dynamic where by you turn them in to a hero, a legend!

Whereas the troll a demon. Isn't the behaviour the same just for a different cause?

I think trolling bullying and harrassment is disgusting behaviour and shouldnt be allowed here.

Tell me what you think.

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Mamapolo2016 · F

I think humans find a way to fill their empty places, and the internet is no different.

Davemcdave · 46-50, M

@Mamapolo2016 I see what you mean, but I feel that this example above validates the observations that we are a growing narcissistic society. Maybe it's the being filled by so many more people

Mamapolo2016 · F

To my mind, what makes it dangerous is the troubled drifting naturally to this medium - where, even more than real life, perception is reality - and people thoroughly trust individuals when they have no valid proof that trust is warranted.

@Davemcdave

Happymedium · 51-55, F

I think....just as in real life, you have to be cautious who you let in, who you surround yourself with, who is genuine, who is not.

You can easily be manipulated and bullied here....just as in real life.

🤔it all boils down to....what you allow

MaryJanine · 61-69, F

You don't have to "allow" anything from anybody. All you need to do is start a post or make a comment on something that someone else objects to, and you're OFF. People who disagree with your POV don't need to curse or swear with every four-five-and-six-letter word they know. But, STILL, they persist in it. Or they go for SHOCK value and interrupt two or three friends having an innocent conversation.

MaryJanine · 61-69, F

And how do we GET rid of these people who swear and curse you out, just because you don't agree with them? You can complain, but the monitors are backed up with similar complaints and are backlogged, or they don't validate your complaint and warn YOU that such invalid reports can cost you limited freedom for expression on the Internet. Blocking and deleting doesn't bother these people - they just go elsewhere where someone will be willing to talk to them, and maybe get recruited by these trolls.

otto78 · 51-55, M

I see a lot of this and it bothers me. Those who respond affirmingly are enabling an unhealthy mindset and behavior pattern. Anyone basing their sense of self-worth on the opinions of others is destined to live a rollercoaster life of disappointment and unfulfillment.

MaryJanine · 61-69, F

You don't have to "allow" anything from anybody. All you need to do is start a post or make a comment on something that someone else objects to, and you're OFF. People who disagree with your POV don't need to curse or swear with every four-five-and-six-letter word they know. But, STILL, they persist in it. Or they go for SHOCK value and interrupt two or three friends having an innocent conversation with each other and prove they don't know a thing about what is being discussed.

ravenwind43 · 51-55, F

No one should be looking for validation from strangers. That has to start from the inside out. Good post.

caccoon · 36-40

I think I take a step back when I start to feel that a place is too negative, or people's words and actions are affecting me.

We can't control what others do. So ultimately, when I don't like something and it's a case where I can't do anything to change it, I typically ignore it.

As far as validation goes, I think it's normal human behaviour. Is it always healthy? Maybe not, but I think some amount of validation does help people gain self esteem. We are social creatures and we care what others think of us. But of course it's not the only factor to being happy.

Davemcdave · 46-50, M

@caccoon this is a decent response thank you

MaryJanine · 61-69, F

I have had simple and honest conversation with others on SW, when someone I didn't even know would cut in with a particularly dirty comment, or a sarcastic one, when he or she wasn't even invited or know what I was talking about in the first place. Or they would wait around and answer a crazy reply, in the second place.

xixgun · M

I don't even validate parking.

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