I Am Too Hard On Myself

I struggle to understand how I can continue to be good in a world where I am constantly challenged by happenings that literally bring me to my knees in tears and pain. I want to stay humble to those responsible for my pain but I can't. I want to face them with a warm smile leaving behind the hurt inflicted, but I can't. I became tired of weeping. I want to make the right choices and decision but I always end up thinking I need to change myself to accommodate others and their selfish acts.