I Sit And Cry

Yesterday, I sat and cried for hours because I failed my learners permit for the sixth time. I know you may think that failing my learners permit is nothing to cry about but the thing is that this is the sixth time that I failed it and all my friends have licenses and won't stop riding me for not having one. The last time I took the test, there were only 20 questions and I had to get 17 right. I figured that would not be a big deal this time because I studied really hard for it all summer. But now they changed the test to where there are 50 questions and if you get 11 wrong, you failed. I took it two times a day and failed both times. And what makes me feel bad about it the most is that you apply to take it the second time, fail and then you give them the money. I would rather they have it where I paid them and then I failed. Because then it is like I am just handing them my money for failing. I hate that I am basically helping the DMV fund their business when they aren't doing me a solid. I feel like the only way I can pass this stupid test is by memorizing Word for Word from the manual. Another thing that's also really stupid is that they aren't even giving out physical handbooks anymore. They would rather you read off the small screen of your iPhone, iPad, Kindle, android, etc. That's the world we live in now. It's also not fair that the reason that majority of today's people in the world have their licenses because they took the test online and looked up all the answers. That's how they got to where they are today. I unfortunately waited too long because nobody told me that I had to be 18 and under in order to take the test online otherwise I would've done that. So all in all, I basically feel like a loser that night because I keep failing the one test that everyone seems to pass. I keep feeling like I fail more than I triumph and the stuff that I do well at I don't care about. I just feel like failing is completely overrated in my case and I just want to succeed in something that I want to succeed in. The thought that makes me cry the most is that I feel like this is as good as my life can get where all I do is fail.