Wednesday my friend decided that it was too much. He shot himself in the head in front of the band hall and i have so many regrets. I should of done more. I should of talked to him. I should of done more....
I'm so sorry. I went through the same thing, and believe me... You have to accept that you did what you could for him. You didn't know what he was planning to do. You didn't know he was capable. You were a good friend while it lasted and he knew that. Okay? Please be kind to yourself.
Im sorry for your loss. Yeah well the first thing you'll learn is when someone is hurting that badly that they think suicide is the only way out you can't stop them. Absolutely nothing you could have done or said would have changed the outcome and it wasn't your fault.
There's a always going to be alot of "What ifs" Please don't ponder too much over those. I lost a good friend from an overdose. That day still goes through my mind.... What if I had checked on her earlier that morning?.... What if I was around for her more often ?
Please don't beat yourself up on this.
As one person we try to help out..... We try to be there for them.... To be that friend to pull them out of the darkness. We try.... But we're only one person..... they have to help themselves as well. It's like tossing a rope down to someone who is stuck in a well. The have to grab on and hold tight. My heart goes out to you and his family/friends.
When people commit suicide... they are far beyond anything you could have said, young lady. They are so self absorbed into their own perceptions that they don't see the forest through the trees. I'm very sorry he chose this and hurt an untold amount of people, including you.