I Lost A Friend To Suiclde

It's been 8 years since he took his own life. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him. When he was 17 he turned to drugs and did some bad shit. Hurt people who cared about him. He got clean, but never forgave himself for the things he did. I stuck by him, I always did. I never turn my back on those I care about. After he cleaned himself up he tried so hard. He got depressed. He came to me and told me how he felt I was the only one that cared about him. That everyone else had turned against him. But that wasn't true. He was loved. Good people sometimes do bad things. He was a good person, just strayed a bit off the path. I had my talk with him, let him know that he was wrong. That none of us had turned against him and that we were all there for him. He left my house. A few days went by and I hadn't heard from him. I went to his place to check on him. I opened the door and walked him. Called out to him. No sound. I walked into the living room and saw him sitting on the couch with a gun in his hand. I yelled to him "No" as I was running towards him. He put the gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. Blew his brains out right there in front of me. I was sick, I was in shock, I held him and cried as I called 911. It didn't seem real, but it was. I had failed my friend. This poor lost soul, I failed him. I wasn't there when he needed me the most. If I had paid better attention to him, he would still be alive. If I could tell him anything it would be that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for letting you down. Please forgive me. 😢