I Keep My Ep Account A Secret

I did let a friend know about my EP account because I knew she would never post, nor be committed enough to find what I had written. But, I wanted to give her the experience of being able to be open with herself, because in reality, she was one of the most closed off individuals I knew. I have a history with EP that left my inner core torn to shreds, but it's okay. I was able to pour out my soul to a community that cared to comment, message, or just let me be. I could write all day long, posting stories with meaning or ones that were merely about my favorite brand of chocolate. I still stare out the window of my work place, while thinking on the time of EP, and to this day I feel the pang in my chest. That feeling that you lost something, that feeling that you miss something, that feeling which you forgot you even had. It was a secret. It IS a secret. It'll never show itself to my reality where my two feet stand. I'm married, I have a job, I have business plans, I have bills, I have stresses, I have happy days, I have bad days. But no one in my every day life will ever see that ugly, needy, bitter, desperate side of me. That side that I can only spew through the interwebs, and in result laugh mockingly at myself as I know it will disappear eventually.