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I Have A Controlling Husband

My husband is slightly controlling especially when it comes to what I talk about, religion and schizophrenia or saying the wrong thing like telling a dirty joke. Truth is I'll never be all that he wants me to be I started working out and went on a veggie diet because he said I was too fat and he can't show me off anymore. So I'm trying to lose the weight all 67 lbs of extra weight. He trys to say its for my health and that he doesn't want me to get diabetes or die from a heart attack....but mostly because I am no longer attractive anymore. And he didn't sign up for a fat wife!

When I think about it I'm not happy with his controlling ways....But at least he is not cheating on me or doing drugs or abusing me!!! The list goes on....He truly is a champion, and a good man everybody loves him really they do....I honestly haven't met a better more behaved man out there...........I don't know if I can become all of the things that he wants me to be....More like him! Honestly I am happily married.....Why shouldn't I listen to him and be the best me I can be? I just don't know anymore if I should want what he wants or smoke my cigarettes and drink all that sugar in my coffee and speak my mind and spend money on nice clothes. All of which makes me happy all that he wants me to stop.

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Bluesky53 · 61-69, M

either you're happy or you are not,,,,,,if you're happy,then you don't need a long story,,,,,leave the butts out,,,,this is not a place to share your marriage,most will encourage you to leave,cheat or who knows what else.....i'm happiy married,but I don't share a whole lot,,,,,except to encourage people to get thru illness or to wait on right one,

romell · 51-55, M

@Bluesky53 absolutely agreeeeeee

SW-User

That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Is he dieting with you? If you want your SO to lose weight you join a gym together or make healthy foods together.

romell · 51-55, M

no marriage is perfect one has to work on it on its own terms for that matter no relation is perfect..one has to work on it to remain happy

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romell · 51-55, M

their cant be any meaningful long relation without some compromises

romell · 51-55, M

@romell even nations when in a treaty have to compromise some of their own interests

SW-User

@romell not necessarily, one should have a right partner. If one has no love for his or her spouse the compromises takes place. Compromise for finance or raising kids is common. But understanding or loving can't be compromised other wise it will be fake love.
Also marriage cant be compared to treaty between nations.

Pfuzylogic · M

When two become married you still retain the right to make your own decisions.
It is good to be healthy but it is better that you make your own choices. God didn't make us robots to him.
Why give that power to someone else?

saintsong · 41-45, F

@Pfuzylogic Honestly I felt like I was rebelling so that I could enjoy my unhealthy pleasures...Maybe my husband is right maybe the right thing to do is to work hard and submit to him...all that he has requested was ultimately to make me a better person both physically and health and how I speak. He has set out some difficult goals old habits and pleasures die hard....like quitting smoking and cutting out the sugar those things make me happy but are terrible for my health and yes I want to be healthy and yes I would love to be beautiful again and I'm working on it and so is he. Maybe I should want to submit to him in these things and see what happens.

Pfuzylogic · M

@saintsong Submissiom, it can be a challenge to see what can be requested in a loving way. I will give him the benefit of the doubt and believe this is done because he cares for you.

saintsong · 41-45, F

@Pfuzylogic me too.

angie8819 · 56-60, F

sounds normal to me

SW-User

Do saint tell dirty jokes? 🤔

saintsong · 41-45, F

@SW-User they shouldn't! I shouldn't! But I do.

SW-User

@saintsong you are human being too. But if you told a dirty joke, I will laugh and forget it asap. Regarding weight, do what you like, never force yourself. Just try meditation and jogging. :)

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