I Want to Write a Story
I absolutely cannot start from the beginning. I can start from this moment in time, but no further.
I am a girl. A lost, confused, scared, but intelligent girl. I've lived long enough to know right from wrong, but not long enough to know how to correct my wrong.
I have so many questions that pile up everyday, to which I'm not sure if most of them even have answers.
The way I look at it I've raised myself, I've taught truth and most of my understanding to myself. I listen to some, but most I'm not too confident in their words.
I'm strong, maybe not the strongest, but I'm strong enough.
I'm currently at a tight point on my rope, I know to do nothing else but keep climbing until I reach a stronger patch. A constant fear is this rope snapping in two.
I see myself as a progression, I am no where near close to where I would like to be.
I hold onto faiths and beliefs hoping one day they'll come in handy & save my life. Weather or not this time will actually come, I'm less than 50% sure.
I like to keep records of various things, almost like I'm comparing notes, most times these notes don't even match up and most times these notes only cause destruction and not growth, but the tabs on my life that I've held onto I'm convinced will too one day save my life.
Most of my life up to this point was filled with joy and happiness with a few bouts. Although on a daily scale I usually recall the unhappy times.
At this point on my life I am far beyond lost. I am also desperate, but I truly give it my all for this weakness not to show.
I've built myself up this far, it would be a shame to turn back, so I continue on this rode hoping to see a light at the end.
My fears like most people tear me apart. One of the bigger ones is rejection. The thought of rejection paralyzes me in any event.
My mind, my biggest enemy, won't stop. It's constantly going. Constantly making a fool, making me it's bi*ch. I feel I have no control, although professionals say otherwise.
In all other words, I'm a freak. A weird, mysterious, freak. I have all to show for it with everything in my life. Does this upset me? Not really.
I'm kinda in love with this freak that I am.
I am a girl. A lost, confused, scared, but intelligent girl. I've lived long enough to know right from wrong, but not long enough to know how to correct my wrong.
I have so many questions that pile up everyday, to which I'm not sure if most of them even have answers.
The way I look at it I've raised myself, I've taught truth and most of my understanding to myself. I listen to some, but most I'm not too confident in their words.
I'm strong, maybe not the strongest, but I'm strong enough.
I'm currently at a tight point on my rope, I know to do nothing else but keep climbing until I reach a stronger patch. A constant fear is this rope snapping in two.
I see myself as a progression, I am no where near close to where I would like to be.
I hold onto faiths and beliefs hoping one day they'll come in handy & save my life. Weather or not this time will actually come, I'm less than 50% sure.
I like to keep records of various things, almost like I'm comparing notes, most times these notes don't even match up and most times these notes only cause destruction and not growth, but the tabs on my life that I've held onto I'm convinced will too one day save my life.
Most of my life up to this point was filled with joy and happiness with a few bouts. Although on a daily scale I usually recall the unhappy times.
At this point on my life I am far beyond lost. I am also desperate, but I truly give it my all for this weakness not to show.
I've built myself up this far, it would be a shame to turn back, so I continue on this rode hoping to see a light at the end.
My fears like most people tear me apart. One of the bigger ones is rejection. The thought of rejection paralyzes me in any event.
My mind, my biggest enemy, won't stop. It's constantly going. Constantly making a fool, making me it's bi*ch. I feel I have no control, although professionals say otherwise.
In all other words, I'm a freak. A weird, mysterious, freak. I have all to show for it with everything in my life. Does this upset me? Not really.
I'm kinda in love with this freak that I am.
26-30, F