I Don't Know What to Do
I am 26 years married. Try to be a good wife. I am loyal to a fault. I am no longer getting what I need from the relationship. I care for him. It is like starving in an empty kitchen.
51-55, F
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
tjw747 · 61-69, M
You've been married a long time, I assume. And likely ignored your own needs for an extended period of time as well. Of course you are probably thinking that divorce would be the best option. You know - start over again, start fresh, etc. So I'd like to point out a few things to you: First off, are you aware that 75% of 2nd marriages fail? (and about 80% of 3rd marriages) You tend to meet people with a LOT of emotional baggage, as after all, the older we are the more of that we tend to accumulate. You don't mention kids, but it hits them hard - especially if they're younger. Its hard for me to say this, but I believe that my own daughter would still be alive today if I had not divorced. (she passed away at age 28, in 2012). It's ALWAYS hard with a new spouse relating to your kids. And they almost ALWAYS (except in clear abuse cases) hope that mom & dad will get back together again. How do I know that? Because when the kids get married, they usually want a photo of their original, mom and dad.
Can you have an HONEST conversation with your husband? My guess is that he is probably 100% unaware of what you're feeling, and you think he will remain that way. Sometimes a conversation like the one you need to have can do a great deal to shake a man out of his comfortable lethargy regarding the marriage. Please try to exercise all options regarding SAVING the marriage before you bail on it. The grass is not usually greener on the other side (the divorce rate proves that). You've given the marriage a lot of years. You never know what unforeseen consequences may occur if you bail - especially without even giving your husband a real chance.
Can you have an HONEST conversation with your husband? My guess is that he is probably 100% unaware of what you're feeling, and you think he will remain that way. Sometimes a conversation like the one you need to have can do a great deal to shake a man out of his comfortable lethargy regarding the marriage. Please try to exercise all options regarding SAVING the marriage before you bail on it. The grass is not usually greener on the other side (the divorce rate proves that). You've given the marriage a lot of years. You never know what unforeseen consequences may occur if you bail - especially without even giving your husband a real chance.
