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I Don't Know What to Do

I don't know how/why I fall in the same pattern of just trying to pretend everything is ok. I don't know why I need to please everyone. It doesn't do anything for me. It just makes me angrier. I don't know how to change. I don't know to get out of this situation.

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BlueDiver · 41-45, M

Maybe the truth is that you want to change the pattern, but you want to hold onto it even more, in order to avoid the pain of what you'd have to give up in order to change it.