When you feel insecure, what are you looking for? To feel safe. When someone is unsure or is feeling a lack of trust, accept it. What sucks the most when you tell someone something is bothering you...if they respond by telling you not to feel that way. That it's not true or that there feelings are not justified. Nothing is more upsetting then to share you're upset, to be told "don't be upset"...FYI, it's too late..being upset already happened so saying not to is moot. Sharing with someone how you feel, especially when its fear or insecurity, is for a reason. It's because that person wants you to know how they feel. Period. After that, it;s up to you to care about it, or not. Understanding is what a person wants if they share there concerns with you. If you respect him, then you will respect his feelings. You can't change them, only he can do that, but you can help by encouraging him to feel secure, not by telling him how to feel, by showing him why he can trust you. Big difference between that and telling him he shouldn't worry or asking why he feels that way that it's wrong. Best question to ask oneself anytime, every time, all the time...Ask yourself: Do you want to be right? Or effective, or kind, or understanding, or helpful, or respectful.... If you want to be right and he is wrong to feel that way, you will have to fight for it, you will have to make him wrong so you can be right. OR the much more loving choice, I prefer myself but that's me...is wanting to be anything but right. If you can relay, that you understand him, that you care how he feels and you want for him to feel safe with you, that you will do what it takes for him to know he safe with you....Then he will trust you. period.
