I Love When People Notice My Fat
An Acknowledgement Of Girth... I have a co-worker who has basically no filter on her mouth. She says everything that enters her mind the minute it enters her mind, and she says it very bluntly. A lot of people at work dislike that about her, but I've always found it refreshing. It's nice to know exactly what someone thinks of you, instead of hearing about it secondhand when the other person gossips about you.
Anyway, one day we were all taking a break, and out of the blue she just said "You're getting a great big belly, you know that?" It was a statement of fact for her, not an insult. I don't know if I was just sitting in a different position or something, because I don't believe I was really any fatter at that point in my life than I usually am (I tend to hover pretty consistently between 215 and 220 pounds), but clearly it was something that stuck out to her (literally). The funny thing is, at my job we all wear black aprons that have a pretty effective slimming effect on us. Generally, you don't know how fat or thing one of us is unless you see us in our street clothes. But for some reason, I looked fat that day.
Naturally, it was an awkward bit of conversation and I blew it off, telling her she was imagining things, and that it was just the way my apron was sitting on my lap. I said that to keep up appearances, but inside, I was simply elated. I had been identified publicly as overweight. For just a moment, there was that temptation that I always have, to openly embrace my latent desire to be a fatty, to throw aside all concern for social normality and say "Yes, I am getting a big belly, but it's not big enough. Get me some doughnuts."
In the end, however, it was just a conversational flicker, and my brain overcame my hormones. I doubt I'll ever be okay with going whole hog and embracing the fat lifestyle in an active way, but it's moments like that that make me question what I'm missing out on.
Anyway, one day we were all taking a break, and out of the blue she just said "You're getting a great big belly, you know that?" It was a statement of fact for her, not an insult. I don't know if I was just sitting in a different position or something, because I don't believe I was really any fatter at that point in my life than I usually am (I tend to hover pretty consistently between 215 and 220 pounds), but clearly it was something that stuck out to her (literally). The funny thing is, at my job we all wear black aprons that have a pretty effective slimming effect on us. Generally, you don't know how fat or thing one of us is unless you see us in our street clothes. But for some reason, I looked fat that day.
Naturally, it was an awkward bit of conversation and I blew it off, telling her she was imagining things, and that it was just the way my apron was sitting on my lap. I said that to keep up appearances, but inside, I was simply elated. I had been identified publicly as overweight. For just a moment, there was that temptation that I always have, to openly embrace my latent desire to be a fatty, to throw aside all concern for social normality and say "Yes, I am getting a big belly, but it's not big enough. Get me some doughnuts."
In the end, however, it was just a conversational flicker, and my brain overcame my hormones. I doubt I'll ever be okay with going whole hog and embracing the fat lifestyle in an active way, but it's moments like that that make me question what I'm missing out on.
