My dad was abusive (both mentally and physically). It didn't stop until the day I decided to not put up with the behaviors. I wasn't rude to him, but I stopped talking to him. If he came in the room, I left. If he talked to me, I pretended I couldn't hear him. Eventually he learned that if he wanted to be in my life - he had to treat me respectfully. If not - I was out and he would miss out on everything I had to offer. Still took 10 years after that for him to every admit he did anything wrong.. progress, I guess. I've learned from him that you should always be nice to people (because that's the person I want to be), but to do things on your terms. I only see him if that's what /I/ want... I don't do things for him. I forgave him for myself, because I was tired of holding on to the anger and it destroying me. Oftentimes we think forgiveness is for the other person.. it's not.