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I Have Children and Step Children

[b]SO, I have 2 boys ages 7 and 4. And my boyfriend has 2 boys that are 12 and 6. Now, my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years. And we dont live with one another. But weve been adjusting to each others lifestyles and children. Now my boyfriend makes 2wice as much money than I do. And hes taking his son to disney world in July. His son won a baseball tournament so they're all heading out there (team). Now the thing is that he has to pay for this trip for himself and his child.
He told me he wants me to be there for his comfort but he wants me to save up and go.
Basically pay for my own way, lol for his comfort of me being there. Now, all i said was, i wouldn't mind going but its such short notice. I dont have Disney money saved.
And on top of all that i would feel horrible going to Disney world without my children. His children will be there and he said that he doesn't think he can be with me if im always going to worry about my children not being someplace just because his are?! And im upset because I've done everything i possibly can to keep our relationship together. And my children are the world to me. I never been to Disney.SO to go, I would only want to be here with my children and everyone else. I told him i would feel out of place without my children and seeing him interact with his children. He said well if you cant afford for them to go then they just cant come. He doesn't understand that its not about the money its about not being there with them. That would bother me to the full extent. I mean, i dont have the money for them to go let alone myself. BUt how dare him!!! Am i wrong????? Supposedly my thought process is all wrong according to him
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Stay home with your children if you cannot afford to take them at this time. Shame on your boyfriend for not understanding, as well as for forcing you to make choices. You are correct in your decision. ☮
@Autumnsleaves214: That's not good at all and I am very sorry to hear. Your partner should be validating your decisions and not be putting you in a quandary where you feel that you might be second guessing yourself. Good luck to you with your relationship.
Autumnsleaves214 · 31-35, F
@allsfinebime2: thank you for your input
@Autumn☺☮sleaves214: You are very welcome, and thank you for asking us.
SW-User
It's a reward for his kid. Not about your relationship. Stay home. Take your kids somewhere they want to go when a special occasion calls for it. Like to any one of the glorious Florida beaches, or St. Augustine or Cape Canaveral to see rockets get launched. Disney World is just alright tbh. Not worth the money.
SW-User
@Autumnsleaves214: I understand. I do. My sister is going through a similar situation. Offering an alternative view from just dump him. It doesn't have to be a fight. Choose to do your own thing with your kids when finances allow. Two years is sort of just getting settled in a relationship and learning what makes each other tick. Sounds like he wants to do something fun with his kids which is a quality of a good man. That's my two cents for what it's worth.
Autumnsleaves214 · 31-35, F
@Phaedra: Yes, I love him to much to just 'dump him". We spoke last night and after some disagreements about it. we both came to an understanding. So I feel way better. Im not going and we have decided to plan a family vacation when he comes back. Thank you for your input.
SW-User
@Autumnsleaves214: That sounds super fun! So glad it worked out. :)
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
If he is not paying for it, then he has no right to criticize you for your decision. And, by the way, most people associate Disney World with children; few people would even think of going without kids.
Autumnsleaves214 · 31-35, F
@greenmountaingal: exacty and god forbid I tell him that "if hes not paying it" he will flip out on me. its not his fault I dont make the money he does.
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
@Autumnsleaves214: It's his fault if he's insensitive to it.
Sourdad · 56-60, M
You can't go to Disney without your children. That's all there is to it. If he can't help make that happen, then there is no way the relationship will work.
MrGoodbar · 51-55, M
He seems rather selfish, and insensitive. Veery disappointed in his behavior. You deserve so much better
MarineBob · 56-60, M
I would say that it is time to move on
Goralski · 51-55, M
Kinda Fucked up thinking on his part
Pherick · 41-45, M
I don't think you are wrong at all in this. If he and his child are going with them team thats fine, but to ask you to go, knowing your finances, and then to act upset that you won't go if you can't bring you own kids? Seems kind of shitty to me.
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bhatjc · 46-50, M
You are not wrong girl. IT should be about the memories not the cost. I agree going to disney cost arm and a leg these days. Sounds like he is being selfish
ArchaicDuplicity · 41-45, M
Uuuuh yeah if your kids can't go too then it would def be inappropriate. That should make perfect sense to him.
He has some growing up to do

 
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