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I Have a Weird Story

(I did not write this but does anyone else feel me on this???)

My father used to tickle me. He would hold me down and have my sisters tickle me. I would be tickled until I wet myself, and we all know, it’s all fun and games until someone pisses all over their pants. I hated being tickled. My mom knew this, and would yell at my father when he tickled me, but he would still tickle me, which would usually end up with me crying and hiding in my room, hearing my sisters squeals of laugher coming from down the hall. They liked being tickled.To this day I can’t tolerate being tickled, and I have almost given my own spouse a black eye by my knee-jerk freak-out reactions when someone tickles me. I cannot even have a pedicure.

My own daughter adores being tickled, and will jump on my bed, demanding my husband and I tickle her until she is crying with laughter, and then she will catch her breath and ask us to do it some more. I cringe inwardly when she wants this, because for me it causes an almost visceral, nauseous reaction – I hate being tickled that much. And I think tickling a kid who hates it is abusive.

My own father probably didn’t see what he was doing as abusive, it was a different time back then, and I’m sure there were many occasions when he started to do it and my mom yelled at him and he didn’t. But when I think back on the times I was tickled, being held down, begging people to stop, and they didn’t.. it’s scary. Even writing about it I feel all creeped out. I’m sure it has to do with the feeling of being overpowered, and not in charge of my own body, and people doing things to me against my will, and looking back at it as an adult it feels abusive. Which for me is a difficult thing to admit because tickling is supposed to be fun and happy and make people laugh. Hitting is abusive, screaming at a kid is abusive, there are a million horrible, awful, disgusting forms of abuse and yet here I am claiming that something that is supposed to be fun is abusive.

I can’t speak for anyone but myself, but what I can tell you is this. If you have a kid who hates being tickled, don’t tickle them. I know you don’t mean any harm by it. I know you just love hearing the sound of your kid’s laughter. But if they hate it, they aren’t laughing because they secretly like it. They are laughing because it’s involuntary, and they can’t catch their breath, and they can’t move because you are overpowering them, either by holding them down or making them laugh so they are having a difficult time moving, and inside they are panicking. As an adult, even though those around me are aware of my distain for being tickled, if I am even tickled by accident it’s enough to make me feel queasy. On occasion I will have nightmares about being tickled, the feeling of being held down, and wake with a start, terrified I have urinated in my sleep.

I know how polarizing it is to say that tickling is child abuse, but it is to a kid who hates it. And it did affect me, because I would have my dad with my sisters in a pile on the living room floor, wrestling and laughing and I was the sad girl on the sofa next to my mom, sucking my thumb and scared someone would pull me into the mix because I knew it would end up in a tickle fight. Even though no matter how much my own kid begs for me to tickle her I always cut it short because I worry that it will be the tickle that goes too far, that I won’t realize she isn’t laughing because she is enjoying it, but she is laughing so she doesn’t start crying.
PoetryBelle · 31-35, F
Personal space and boundries. People don't realise that kids are people too, with feelings, likes and dislikes. How would you as an adult feel if another person, stranger or not, entered your personal space and made you do something or touched you in a way you didn't like? Even something as innocent as tickling... If someone doesn't like it or asks you to stop you need to respect that and teach your kids that it's ok to feel the way they do, and that their feelings are perfectly normal.
I grew up with a huge family who show their affection through hugs and kisses. It's literally considered rude if you don't hug or kiss your relatives or family friends. I on the other hand cringe when people get too close to me, and it infuriated me when I was forced to kiss or hug people. One relative even insisted I kiss them on the lips #cringing at the thought.
Now that I'm grown I flat out refuse physical contact with anyone I'm not comfortable with, no matter who they are. Which makes me come across as cold or disrespectful to most people.
Summergirly · 26-30, F
Yeah my dad forcibly tickled me really hard and held me down my whole childhood and I used to have nightmares about it that he was a monster lol
PoetryBelle · 31-35, F
@TheFlowerThatBloomsInAdversity: yeah it kinda seems silly in hindsight but the thing is it was a big thing to you at that time in your life and I'm pretty sure it's had lasting effects.
When you allow your fears to own your thoughts, your wasting life. Get over it and be free.
Summergirly · 26-30, F
I am over it I just found it interesting that someone had the same experience as I did. I was abused in every way by my dad And that traumatized me and it's hard to just drop it when it just stopped like 4 years ago. For my entire life until I was 15 that WAS my life. Tickling is nothing compared to what else happened but I wanted to see if other people feel me
I'm sorry for you, I was punched around by a drunk step dad, I am damn happy for that. I'm happy because he wasn't a sexual predator. I know things can always be worse no matter the situation, so I'll take the beating and enjoy it. But I'm happy for you getting over it. I'm just a simple little man and as such I am weak, so one day he needed help moving a piano, seeing opportunity, sorry, hearing opportunity knocking I was happy to help, so as we was moving the thing I hear opportunity knock again, I give a little shove and he trips over some junk, to every body else it looks like he's clumsy, but to him and me we know better. I always want to punch him in the nose but because I know I could whip him in my sleep I cannot make myself take revenge, he don't know how thankful he should be.
updown2020 · 61-69, M
Wow you really do not like to be tickled but that's okay. Not everyone like everything.
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