morbid...question mark.
"My lovers got humor...shes the giggle at a funeral"
I remember the first time I laughed at death
I had just discovered my dads body. my sister and i. she was 14 and I was 11.
just laying there...on the couch like always. golf on tv.
and as i ran out of the house, my mind broke. i tripped down the three steps outside, running to my mom, waiting in the driveway. they were divorced... she just sent us in to check on him cause he wasnt answering.
but i tripped down those steps, scared and crying....and halfway....it stopped. i broke.
I laughed at the non reality. the unbelievableness. thats not a word but it was, to me. i,
that was when I was gone. literally from then, on
my mom came into the house after we told her, of course. saw him and called the cops. ambulance came and tried to revive him but....it was long past
anyway....that lyric from the band hozier "take me to church" reminded me of that lyric...."shes a giggle at a funeral...."
my dads wake was, average
but to me.... that was the first day i tried coffee. the funeral home had it complimentary. and while the adults were all shaking hands, i tried the coffee. and kept trying it
and later, my brother took us to burger king. and for some reason, i kept my elbows in even as i ate, and my sister in law pointed it out but even now as an adult, i dont know why. and i didnt speak. i just, it was stuck.
we went back to the wake
my aunt ended up taking me for the night. her daughter (my cousin) was around my age
the next day, me and my cousin were alone at her house for whatever reason and doing some sort of puzzle
i dont even remember why but i yelled, "at least your dad isnt dead!"
and from then on i never saw them again. kinda. once in 2018. such strangers now
i couldnt face my old friends
my old family
to this day
and if i ever have a daughter....if YOU ever have a kid or sibling or someone you care for...if they experience a trauma.... please get them therapy. not just meds. but therapy.
i never did
it was a "walk it off" kind of household
but please care for the youth
and care for yourself.
i had to learn that
if you got no one....you at least got you
Gee what is this post without the music...my sickness
[media=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Td2bsJIaC5M]
I remember the first time I laughed at death
I had just discovered my dads body. my sister and i. she was 14 and I was 11.
just laying there...on the couch like always. golf on tv.
and as i ran out of the house, my mind broke. i tripped down the three steps outside, running to my mom, waiting in the driveway. they were divorced... she just sent us in to check on him cause he wasnt answering.
but i tripped down those steps, scared and crying....and halfway....it stopped. i broke.
I laughed at the non reality. the unbelievableness. thats not a word but it was, to me. i,
that was when I was gone. literally from then, on
my mom came into the house after we told her, of course. saw him and called the cops. ambulance came and tried to revive him but....it was long past
anyway....that lyric from the band hozier "take me to church" reminded me of that lyric...."shes a giggle at a funeral...."
my dads wake was, average
but to me.... that was the first day i tried coffee. the funeral home had it complimentary. and while the adults were all shaking hands, i tried the coffee. and kept trying it
and later, my brother took us to burger king. and for some reason, i kept my elbows in even as i ate, and my sister in law pointed it out but even now as an adult, i dont know why. and i didnt speak. i just, it was stuck.
we went back to the wake
my aunt ended up taking me for the night. her daughter (my cousin) was around my age
the next day, me and my cousin were alone at her house for whatever reason and doing some sort of puzzle
i dont even remember why but i yelled, "at least your dad isnt dead!"
and from then on i never saw them again. kinda. once in 2018. such strangers now
i couldnt face my old friends
my old family
to this day
and if i ever have a daughter....if YOU ever have a kid or sibling or someone you care for...if they experience a trauma.... please get them therapy. not just meds. but therapy.
i never did
it was a "walk it off" kind of household
but please care for the youth
and care for yourself.
i had to learn that
if you got no one....you at least got you
Gee what is this post without the music...my sickness
[media=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Td2bsJIaC5M]
36-40, F
