I Remember Her

My parents were young migrants in this country. They didn't have any family here and were desperate for a babysitter. My mom was so desperate, she asked an elderly lady she had recently met, if she could watch me. She was very hesitant, probably because of her old age, but she later decided to watch me for a few hours. Not only did she become my babysitter but she ended up becoming my godmother. It must have been God ordained. My godmother helped me through so much and I ended up helping her during her last years on earth. When I was having problems with my family, I could always call or visit her anytime. She wise and strong, a praying, godly woman. I always thought if I can just talk to my godmother, I know that everything will be alright. I remember visiting her from childhood to adulthood. The memories are still so vivid. Her small cottage home was so warm and inviting, even during those times when we had to wait for the heating man to put heat in her home. It was like traveling through time. I remember it like it was yesterday; her crushed green velvet couch, the old iron kitchen stove, the pink faded country floral wallpaper and her bedroom that looked like an attic. She had all these black dolls on her bed that freaked me out. She always wore these long, old fashioned dresses and she was always watching her One Life to Live and Port Charles soap operas. I would watch motorcyclists cut through the clearing of the woods near her home, from the window. I really miss those days. I remember when I was about seven years old, I used some lipstick I found in her bathroom vanity.I wiped my lips on the towel. I tried to rub the stain out with soap and water but it wouldn't come out.I know my godmother saw it but she never said a word. She was a real country woman, with a long, stern face, very blunt and straight forward, but very loving and humorous. She was an African American woman from Virginia with part American Indian ancestry. She had such a rich, cultural background and so many stories to share. And I was eager to hear them, especially with my Caribbean background. I learned so much from her and she learned so much from me. Sometimes my eyes would well up tears. She went through so much. She was the strongest, most resilient woman I've ever known. She was a widow and and the only child she had passed away in her adult years. We often shared our heart aches over ice cream floats and trips to the lake. Sometimes we ate her amazing southern cosuine and fried apples, at her home. All of her family members were living in the South, but she had so many friends of all races and cultures who would visit her from time to time because of who she was. She could just go to the store and by the end of her shopping, a Jewish man would invite her over for dinner. When she later ended up in the nursing home, for about three years, I was was the main one visiting her. She would get occasional visits from long distant family members. I would often bring her food and companionship. I would talk to her next to her bedside and she would manage a smile, but I knew she wasn't happy. I knew she longed to be home and I longed for those visiting days again. She didn't live much longer after that. Depression soon brought her home to her Lord. On her dying bed, when she could still speak, I remember her saying, "you have two heritages...." her voice trailed off. She didn't say anything else. I kind of understood what she meant. It still sticks with me to this day. I came back another day. I didn't want to. I didn't want too see the lady who once held me in her arms looking so frail and weak. It was a quick visit. I whispered into her ears and told her I was sorry for using her lipstick when I was young and that I loved her. She tried to reach her arm out to me. I held her hands and said goodbye. That was the last time I saw her alive. Sometimes I slowly drive past her home after work. A new family lives there. A red SUV sits in the driveway. That new family sits in my godmother's kitchen, where we once talked about everything under the sun. But I still have those memories that I will cherish forever. Enjoy the time you have now with your loved ones so you can enjoy good memories later. I'm so glad my mother's friend decided to be my babysitter or she wouldn't have been my godmother.God knew we would both need each other. She was my everything. Rest in Peace.