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I Hate Insensitive People

I happen to be in a debate class, and we had some spare time at the end of class so we were sitting around bullshitting and talking about if religion should be forced on someone. The following conversation takes place:

Me: "It definitely shouldn't. The psychological effects are damaging. For example, I have a friend who's had religion forced on him his entire life by his parents and he attempted suicide over the summer."
Class: "Oh man"
Me: "Yeah my summer kinda sucked. I had two friends attempt suicide. Go me!"
Teacher: "That's enough about your personal life, no matter how interesting it might be."

Now, this is a really sensitive topic for me. I've been suicidal multiple times in the past and actually nearly killed myself last year. The two friends who attempted suicide are kids I've known for a while (once since pre-school and we're best friends, the other since 2nd grade,) and both told me that they were suicidal but I didn't do anything, so I really blame myself.

I don't expect people to walk on eggshells around me, especially if they don't know it's something I'm sensitive too, and I'm aware that the teacher was probably just uncomfortable with the topic and wanted to change it, but I felt it was incredibly insensitive. He made me feel like no one cared at all, and basically said "shut up, no one wants to hear it." If someone is talking about something as serious as suicide or loss, whether or not it's making you uncomfortable, you don't shut them down like that.

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SW-User

I agree. That does seem incredibly insensitive. My daughter's high school acts similarly though, so I have wondered if the teachers are not allowed to discuss the topic. Regardless, that was pretty harsh. I'm sorry that happened. It must be very tough trying to cope with so much. I hope you and your friends have been able to find someone who can help.

rabbitlover12 · 22-25, F

I think it's probably avoid lawsuits

SW-User

@rabbitlover12: I was told that the administrators believe that talking about suicide will make kids attempt it... I have issues with this reasoning, but this appears to be at least one rationale.

rabbitlover12 · 22-25, F

You'd think that talking about suicide in a healthy manner would make kids feel less alone, so they don't feel like they're the only ones experiencing it

DFDGsdfffss · M

My teacher yelled at someone in my class for being on her phone.
This was understandable, but the girl recieved a message saying that her friend died. The teacher scolded her for wasting time, even after she told the teacher.

She was not allowed to go to the bathroom or comfort.

I met the person who died the day before.

View 1 more replies »

rabbitlover12 · 22-25, F

@lovelldo: her friend fucking died. I would damn well expect my mother to call me to tell me that. Hell, if my brother or sister got into an accident, I would want to be caller.

The teacher clearly was in the wrong. Someone's friend has just died and he's not only continuing to scold her for being on her phone, but then not letting her excuse herself to compose herself!

rabbitlover12 · 22-25, F

Hell, I have this one really strong attachment to a coach, I'd want someone to tell me as soon as they knew

Spoiledbrat · F

@rabbitlover12: How do her parents feel about it? Do they feel she was wronged too? I just don't know what else to say except that I think it is highly unlikely that it couldn't have been cleared beforehand by talking to parents staff and teachers.

firefall · 61-69, M

Yeah, it was spectacularly clumsy and insensitive. OTOH a lot of teachers have been taught to derail any conversation about suicide in class, because there's a theory that the more it's discussed by teenagers, the more teenagers will try to commit suicide.

rabbitlover12 · 22-25, F

There's stupid and then there's that idea. People are like "it plants the idea" when in reality, kids know about suicide, and not talking about it makes it much more challenging to deal with when it arrises.

There's derailing the conversation in a polite, sensitive way, and then there's the rude, insensitive way. He went with the second option

firefall · 61-69, M

Yeah, I can't argue. As a theory, it's right up there with 'lie about drugs and the teenagers wont ever try them' for cosmically stupid.

rabbitlover12 · 22-25, F

I know, right XD

Like, I probably will try a cigarette once, just to be like "ok, yup, this was as bad as I thought it was going to be" and I will drink. Telling me lies about them's gonna do jack shit

Spoiledbrat · F

He might have wanted to keep the class on task. And it is his job. Just think of it that way. I think he could have made himself available to talk later, however.

SW-User

I assume your teacher was trying to stop the debate getting onto the sensitive subject of suicide, try not to take it personally

rabbitlover12 · 22-25, F

I guess, and I totally get that, but he could have been a little more sensitive about it. If he'd said "Hey, I'm not comfortable with the class discussing suicide" I would have been fine with that, but he didn't.

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