I Want to Join the Army

I am joining the army. Quite frankly, I need death, but know that I have to suffer first. I will make sure that I suffer all day, everyday. Even if I didn’t want that, though, it would happen. Because of my desire to inflict harm on myself, and perhaps help some people in the process, I have chosen to join a militia abroad. I am travelling to a dangerous combat zone, where quite a few thousand have, well you know, already. I truly hope that I will be one of them, that is until after I’ve been through it. I want people to hurt me. I want them to inflict injury on me. If they capture me and hurt me and torture me, I will look at them and laugh; begging for more and more. Then, eventually I will hopefully get shelled and blown-up. If I see any of my comrades in danger, I will save them and put my life before theirs. Maybe me not being afraid of death will make me a superb fighter, not that I care. I don’t care about anything these days.

I simply hope that I suffer and get blown into pieces.