I Am a Loser

I've just felt down. I was doing alright for a little while but now I'm back to my normal self. I feel like I need to push everyone away and kill myself. Today I got asked by a few people if I was alright, I normally do a half way decent job of hiding my feelings but it just keeps showing through. I got a girlfriend recently and she kept questioning me because I drove almost an hour so I could get a hug from her, it helped but i just rememebered a few things which made me feel worse.