I Am a Loser

I feel like a total loser sometimes. I had a great Thursday watching the NCAA basketball tournament. My friend and I took both Thursday and Friday off and set up plans to go out Friday to watch day two of the games. Friday came and he said he had to work. I was totally crushed and didn't end up leaving the house. I left for a few hours Saturday to meet up with him and his wife but came right home after we ate. Still feeling down. Why do I make plans and adjust my calendar and then have those around me cancel. Maybe I am too reliant on the few friends I have. I bend over backwards to help others out and then wonder... "would they do the same for me?" the inevitable answer is... probably not. My friend would call the day of and expect me to come over on a work night and drink with her, then get mad if I either didn't respond right away or couldn't come over either because I didn't want to drink or just felt like staying home. There is maybe one person I talk to on a daily basis but that is online. Most of my "friends" I go weeks or even months without talking to. Just feel like what is the point in even trying sometimes. I know everyone else has their own lives and families but I just feel like a complete loser sometimes