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What's with the parents that make their firstborn became their substitute?

Just because we're older doesn't mean we should be raising your kids. We wanted to be kids too, you know?

I'm the oldest too it's annoying the amount of shit they expect out of me and like all the rules and shit they have tried to lodge in my head like I'm supposed to remember all of it and live accordingly without making any mistakes. I make it up as I go along and if that's not good enough then fuck it

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HannibalMontanimal · 26-30, M

@Melpomene Roommates don't workout. And public transportation ? Like paying $15 for an Uber to take me to work and another $15 to drive me back ? I live in a small country town in the middle of nowhere

Melpomene · 26-30, F

@HannibalMontanimal That was just a suggestion, not trying to tell you how to live

HannibalMontanimal · 26-30, M

@Melpomene I'm telling you the reality of my situation. It's not possible.

SW-User

I literally felt like a mom and still do but I didn't mind because my mom wasn't there so my father was always at work so I had to take care of my two sisters
Learned how to cook and clean when I was young

The thing now is that my sisters are 19 and 20 and they still can't do shit
I still cook and clean

Melpomene · 26-30, F

@SW-User I had to take the role of a mum as a kid (when I was around 7-8) because she couldn't do anything (depression? too early to remember) and a few years later I realized that as long as I show them I can do something (cook, clean etc.) I'll be the only one doing it. I was taking care of them on and off for years and the "best" solution I've got so far is to have them around when I'm working and teach them how to do stuff and take turns but it's so exhausting since I'm still doing most of it.

whiskeyinateacup · 36-40, F

I am the youngest and resent my siblings being placed in a role of authority over me. It really annoys me when I see parents putting their children in charge of younger siblings. I think it's lazy parenting and no one appreciates it.

Melpomene · 26-30, F

@whiskeyinateacup If you think that's tough ask your siblings how it felt when they had to take care of younger ones. Because if they fuck up, you're the responsible one for being in charge of them.

whiskeyinateacup · 36-40, F

@Melpomene When my older brother was taking care of me (I was 4ish) he put on the back of his bike (I was sitting in the seat and he was peddling) and my foot got caught in the spoke of the wheel and snapped all my bones in my foot. I was crying, he was crying, my mother was crying and my father was screaming. No one wins when parents pawn their children on other people - especially when those "other people" are young and still need to be guided and cared for too.

Melpomene · 26-30, F

@whiskeyinateacup It's irresponsible to put a 4y/o in charge of his baby sister, some people would even call it neglect. I'm sorry about your foot, I hope it completely healed.

SW-User

i’m the youngest but in my culture, the burden always falls on the oldest daughter. and that would be me. i basically take care of everyone in the house. at times, i feel like i’m the only adult in the house.

Melpomene · 26-30, F

@SW-User Are you the only female?

SW-User

@Melpomene yes (if my mom doesn’t count in this)

Melpomene · 26-30, F

@SW-User You didn't mention her so I didn't know whether to count her in or not. Sounds like an old setting of he works - she cleans and cooks, which could only be applicable if the daughters stay with their housewife tasks but that turns men into such babies...

SW-User

I’ve never had to raise my little bother but occasionally my parents would ask me to babysit him when I was an early teen and he was still a kid. It didn’t hurt tho, we loved having the houses all for ourselves. But yeah it never got to the point of exploitation.

Melpomene · 26-30, F

@SW-User Hopefully new generations will be better and know how to take care of their responsibilities.

deadgerbil · 26-30

Generally, they don't know how to parent properly.

Melpomene · 26-30, F

@deadgerbil I know, but it still sucks. I had to postpone therapy (fake I'm normal) for years so they wouldn't separate us.

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