I Am Feeling Hopeless
Love is something I tried. I wanted to experience. I have. It's mostly pain. In the beginning all is great, but when things get rough and the person who made you smile and made you excited for the next day and all the days to come, betrays you and leaves you all alone. Then you'll understand. It's very selfish of that person actually. To make you think they want you and want to spend large amounts with you. Bring you to placed you've never would of been without them, then they just leave and leave you stranded. What was the point?
Every friend you thought you would spend the rest of your life sharing laughs, secrets and memories with abandons you. Makes you realize that they weren't ever really there. Now you're left alone to be alone, do alone and live alone. No one to have your back or tell you you're right. You now realize everyone is happy with or without you.
Then you have family. The members who were set in place to have you forever, but they feel like strangers to you.
What is there to do? Who is there to trust?Is everyone who comes into my life temporary? Will I forever have to fear when I'll lose this person?
I feel currently lost, abandoned left alone to feel and do by myself, I know many others feel this. But you never understand until you feel alone. For years I've been searching for a place to feel special and comfortable in. I haven't found that place. I've tried to make many places me home only to be disappointed.
Something I wonder, 'Father why cannot I be apart of your life?'
Most people my age have options when they are in this situation. Unfortunately I'm stuck with few options.
I honestly don't know why I'm writing this. I've written my feelings and deeper emotions a hundred times with nothing but raw emotion. Something I don't show often. I feel as if I've written my soul out on this EP profile of mine. Each story a piece of my I refuse to share with people in my life. This profile is truly me. Raw unfiltered me. Half the time I feel it's pointless. Why am I writing? These stories will never reach anyone I know personally. Which I don't know exactly how I feel about that.
Some part of me wishes someone will read this so they can finally understand me without me actually having to tell them. Like I've mentioned before, I just hate the thought of judgement. I feel as if I'm special, a well worthy person, but too afraid to show it in fear of judgement. Like no one will take me seriously.
I think that is exactly it. No one has ever taken me seriously. Making me feel useless and purposeless. All my talents and abilities taken for granted.
I often think of suicide. Then I feel that is a coward decision and since I don't know what the future holds, I could be wasting my potential, the potential only I seem to believe in.
I hope one day to meet someone, all I need is one person to take me seriously and support and believe in me.
I don't know. Overall, I'm unhappy. And once again I've flooded this story with emotion. Emotion only seen and felt by me.
Anyone who reads this, please feel more than free to contact me.
If you agree, understand and feel the same, message me or something. I really like response and to feel like I'm not pouring my soul out for nothing. I'd like to feel like someone appreciates and moved by my stories.
Thank you and have a good one.
Every friend you thought you would spend the rest of your life sharing laughs, secrets and memories with abandons you. Makes you realize that they weren't ever really there. Now you're left alone to be alone, do alone and live alone. No one to have your back or tell you you're right. You now realize everyone is happy with or without you.
Then you have family. The members who were set in place to have you forever, but they feel like strangers to you.
What is there to do? Who is there to trust?Is everyone who comes into my life temporary? Will I forever have to fear when I'll lose this person?
I feel currently lost, abandoned left alone to feel and do by myself, I know many others feel this. But you never understand until you feel alone. For years I've been searching for a place to feel special and comfortable in. I haven't found that place. I've tried to make many places me home only to be disappointed.
Something I wonder, 'Father why cannot I be apart of your life?'
Most people my age have options when they are in this situation. Unfortunately I'm stuck with few options.
I honestly don't know why I'm writing this. I've written my feelings and deeper emotions a hundred times with nothing but raw emotion. Something I don't show often. I feel as if I've written my soul out on this EP profile of mine. Each story a piece of my I refuse to share with people in my life. This profile is truly me. Raw unfiltered me. Half the time I feel it's pointless. Why am I writing? These stories will never reach anyone I know personally. Which I don't know exactly how I feel about that.
Some part of me wishes someone will read this so they can finally understand me without me actually having to tell them. Like I've mentioned before, I just hate the thought of judgement. I feel as if I'm special, a well worthy person, but too afraid to show it in fear of judgement. Like no one will take me seriously.
I think that is exactly it. No one has ever taken me seriously. Making me feel useless and purposeless. All my talents and abilities taken for granted.
I often think of suicide. Then I feel that is a coward decision and since I don't know what the future holds, I could be wasting my potential, the potential only I seem to believe in.
I hope one day to meet someone, all I need is one person to take me seriously and support and believe in me.
I don't know. Overall, I'm unhappy. And once again I've flooded this story with emotion. Emotion only seen and felt by me.
Anyone who reads this, please feel more than free to contact me.
If you agree, understand and feel the same, message me or something. I really like response and to feel like I'm not pouring my soul out for nothing. I'd like to feel like someone appreciates and moved by my stories.
Thank you and have a good one.
26-30, F