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I Am A Skunkseeker

I had at least a minor success last night at the lake. I got my chasing gear ready at sundown, headed down on my bicycle and arrived at about 9:00 p.m. CDT. I looked around for a good 30 minutes in the usual places, not finding any skunks, and actually said out loud that I wasn't going to bother anymore and was going to give up when I saw that beautiful white stripe a few feet in front of me. It looked like a sleek female skunk, she was poking her head out of a drainage pipe (as you might recall from my previous stories, the skunks use these as easy shelter and shortcuts all over the park). A car rode by and scared her back into the pipe, which annoyed me greatly, but I knew she hadn't seen me yet and would probably come right back out a few minutes later. There's a motion-detection street light a few feet away from that pipe, so even though I'd walked away I could still be notified when the skunkie came back out, and sure enough she did, and hobbled up and around the pipe while I waited patiently for my chance. Unfortunately, she only waddled a few feet away from the pipe before turning tail and heading back toward it, with me breaching the distance creeping forward I knew this had to be my chance, so I sprung forward. That tail went up right away and the skunk panicked, running down into the ditch as I followed and only giving me a quick panicked misting along my legs before scrambling into the pipe and out of sight. The smell exploded in the air and I tried to figure out where I was hit, but soon came to the conclusion that it was a clothing-only misting.

Since she was in the pipe, I knew I couldn't get to her without waiting very patiently for her to leave and having to check both sides for her exit. A raccoon wandered by shortly afterward and I didn't stop him from going into the pipe himself. I heard a brief scuffle (he likely fought the skunk and lost) and when I checked a little later, the pipe had emptied completely, no sign of the skunk or raccoon. I wandered the park again for about an hour and a half before finally coming across only one other skunk on a foot path marked "Pedestrians only", and unfortunately I'd startled it while coming forward, so by the time I got off my bike and gave chase the skunk had scrambled uphill and into the thick wooded brush where I couldn't get to it. That basically ended my night, and I headed home only partially victorious.

In retrospect, I should've done more with the single opportunity I had, I could've blocked the pipe with my body as I have before and when the skunk saw that wasn't an easy exit it probably would've tried another, it's hard to say. The fact there were still fishermen constantly driving around at that point hurt my chances a lot, the skunks at the park are used to motorists and will run from cars, as I kept seeing. The jeans are fun to sniff, at least, so I'll enjoy them until I have to put them away tonight.
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irreverent · M
How do skunks taste?
Tybron · 41-45, M
While this is almost certainly a sarcastic question: I wouldn't know, I've never killed or eaten one, they're not really an ideal animal to eat, not a lot of protein and the various diseases they could have don't make for good eating I'm sure.

Their spray is quite bitter to taste though.
irreverent · M
Why do you hunt them if you're not going to eat them? Isn't that what hunting is all about?
Tybron · 41-45, M
@irreverent: I don't hunt them, I just chase them around to provoke a spray because I really enjoy the pheromones in their scent. Hence why this group is "I am a Skunkseeker" and not "Skunk [u]hunter[/u]". Hunting is illegal on city property anyway. There are some lovely deer wandering the lakeside, and it did occur to me that someone with a hunting license might very well try to shoot one at some point.
irreverent · M
To each his own.
Tybron · 41-45, M
@irreverent: Thanks for being open-minded about it. You'd be surprised how much random hatemongering and trolling this group gets.
irreverent · M
I'm also a fan of exotic food. Have had kangaroo, snake, crocodile, and dog too.
@irreverent: ...dog?
irreverent · M
Yeah, in Viet Nam. It was lousy! Tasted putrid.
@irreverent: well don't ever eat dogs again... wait was it a wild one or a domesticated one?
irreverent · M
I don't know--I didn't preview it! You needn't worry about me repeating the experience because it was the worst meat I've ever had.
@irreverent: what about human meat... one time there was this resteraunt that actually served human flesh and nobody knew and I once ate there and hated it. Later the health inspector found a severed head and found they were cooking people... a week later they found out and when I heard it I threw up... man...
Tybron · 41-45, M
@Haileygamer099: That is absolutely disgusting and you're lucky you didn't get prion diseases (similar to Mad Cow disease, or as we know it now Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease) like cannibals often get. How the fuck did those bastards get away with that for so long? Sick!
@Tybron: yah I don't know who in their right mind would do that but I'm not lying seriously look it up
Tybron · 41-45, M
@Haileygamer099: You'll have to help me look it up, you were pretty vague. What was the place called and where was it located?
@Tybron: it was a Nigerian restaurant at a hotel and I was on a trip and that happened... the police found fresh human heads and it was just terrible... I don't even want to know who they did it too...
irreverent · M
I've always wondered how human flesh tastes. What kind of wine did they serve with it?
@irreverent: um I didn't take any wine I took one bite and just left..
Tybron · 41-45, M
@irreverent: Probably fava beans and a nice Chianti. *flicks his lips and tongue Hannibal-style*
@Tybron: I just realized this turned to what do skunks taste like to what do humans taste like, and after the story this kinda got a little dark...
Tybron · 41-45, M
@Haileygamer099: Think I should nuke the whole thread about cannibalism? It's pretty dark like you said.
@Tybron: um yah let's do that
irreverent · M
What is wrong with a bit of darkness?
@Haileygamer099: you ate WHAT?!? 🤢