I Am A Skunkseeker

I got beautifully stunk tonight! I flipped the coin to make sure that luck might be on my side and I won the coin toss, which given my recent lack of luck at the lake was still not entirely that encouraging to me. With some goading from my online friends I still headed down as soon as it got dark, which gave me quite the advantage, apparently, because the skunks were certainly active and hunting. I suited up in the sprayed chasing clothes, but didn't bring any spares since I figured I might not need them and they'd just weigh me down (a decision I'd quickly regret once the deed was done). On the way to the lakeside I didn't see or smell a single skunk, but didn't let that discourage me too much, and simply stuck to the bicycle paths. I know now why some cyclists tend to get sprayed on nights like this, because each skunk I found was only a few feet from either a bicycle path or a golf cart path. The first was on the other side of the mini-creek area, a nice bold-striped specimen with streaks of yellow noticeable along the tail (meaning it's probably unhealthy, possibly from eating that cat food people put out for the feral cats?). I parked my bike at once, removed my phone and helmet, hopped off and ran up to the little stinker, grabbing for it's tail and receiving a generous squirting along my right arm and likely my pants and shirt (though it's hard to tell if I don't feel wetness there). The skunk started getting bitey however, so I couldn't safely provoke much more out of it with bare hands, and let it go with profuse and sincere thanks for my new perfume. The beautiful reek exploded in the air, rich, sulfuric and delightfully musky as always.

I simply had to have more. I'd put in the effort, and I wanted to be a walking skunkbomb by the end of this.

I retrieved my goods and, trying to have as little contact with the helmet and phone as possible so as not to transfer the stench (I DO have to wear both in public after all) I got back on the bike and resumed riding along the bike path, putting on the gloves since now that I had sprayed hands, I'd likely contaminate the handlebars if I didn't. On the return trip toward the creek another stripey caught my eye, this one looking more like a teenager than the adult I'd just chased, and I wrestled with my pack to quickly get Penelope out, to no avail, simply dropping the pack and going for another direct squirting. This time the little stinker misted me a few times and definitely got my glove and legs, possibly even my crotch (since the sprayed pants have a huge hole there from when they ripped last year). Again I rubbed the warm oils in like a fine cologne and thanked the skunk for the gift it bestowed on me, and after one more brief pass along the path I headed home, victorious.

I'm flooding the room with my new aroma as I type this, such a liberating and lovely stench, it always makes me feel so content and invigorates me in so many ways (some more adult than others ;P) I'll have to deodorize early tomorrow, sadly, because I have to replace my bicycle seat (it definitely seems to have gotten some spray transfer from the pants, since I was in too big a rush to get home to let them dry first, and didn't bring spares...damnit x.x) I don't think any other parts of the bike are skunky, but it's kinda difficult to check when I'm still skunked myself. I REALLY hope my phone case and helmet are fine, those I kinda can't leave the house without and I certainly can't have them skunking up my workplace or buses at any time.

Man, it's hard to even type this since every breath brings in the lovely stench and keeps distracting me. I wish I had a fellow skunk scent lover to share this with right now, but c'est la mouffette!